


With A Rink Between Us

by spopuhaul



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hockey, Anxious Adora (She-Ra), Bow Is a Good Friend (She-Ra), College Hockey, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, Glimmer (She-Ra) Swears, Glimmer (She-Ra) is a Good Friend, Jock Adora (She-Ra), LGBTQ Character, Lesbian Adora (She-Ra), Lesbian Catra (She-Ra), Minor Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Orphan Adora (She-Ra), Orphan Catra (She-Ra), Orphans, POV Adora (She-Ra)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:01:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 24,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25593961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spopuhaul/pseuds/spopuhaul
Summary: Hockey means everything to Adora and Catra. They've been playing for years, and now they have the chance to prove themselves in the college league! Nobody expected the two orphan girls to make it this far, yet here they are. Will they stay together like they promised, or will there be a rink between them?[ON HIATUS INDEFINITELY, BRAIN SAID HYPERFIXATE ON SOMETHING ELSE]
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ElectricSkelly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElectricSkelly/gifts).



"Ugh, " I groaned as I got smothered into the boards. The crisp air of the rink made every breath sharper, more enticing. And in instances like this, more painful. I strode backwards, turning around to face the person who had just shoved me into the corner.

"Watch it," I growled.

"Hey, Adora." The shorter girl stuck her tongue out at me. "What, are you distracted?"

I reached out and shoved her, making her stumble backwards, but not enough to make her fall. "Catra. You wish I was distracted."

Catra adjusted her face into a sly smile. "Are you sure you're not? Because I found it pretty easy to pin you up against the boards," she sneered.

I rolled my eyes and scoffed. "I wasn't exactly trying to keep you off." I paused, adjusting my helmet. "Besides, I figured I might as well help you feel better after I completely destroyed you in that shooting competition earlier," I added with a smile.

I saw her blink slowly, and then turn back around. "Yeah whatever. I let you win that one, we both know you can't shoot for shit," she joked, making her way back across the ice.

"Hey, language," I said, skating up beside Catra and whacking her shin with my stick. She retaliated with a shove to my elbow. We were both laughing at each other by the time we got back to the center, where the rest of our team was gathering.

A loud, piercing noise rang through the air. The coach made his way over to the middle of the circle, waiting for everyone to get there. Once our goalie, a tall, green lizard hybrid named Rogelio, finally got to the center, the equally tall man began to talk.

"All right, team. This concludes practice for today. Don't forget, next Friday is the championship game where we will be playing against the Bright Moon prospects!" He stuck out a hand, placing it in the middle of the circle. We all put our hands in the middle, an action embedded in our minds since pee wee hockey. "You are the future representatives of Horde Hockey! Make us proud! Some of you will be starting college next year," he said with a glance at my line, "so impress the college coaches!"

We all cheered in unison, the echoing sounds of an empty arena filling my mind with excitement. He was right. This was the most important game of the season for those of us moving up to college hockey. I looked over at Catra, who had been playing with me ever since we were moved into Shadow Weaver's foster home. She had been there with me for the past 15 years of my life. I looked past her at Lonnie, my friend since Catra and I started playing travel hockey when we were 12. With her, I met Rogelio and Kyle. Rogelio was taller, and more quiet than Lonnie and Kyle. I never really quite understood what he said, but he had a good heart. Kyle was... a special guy. He always knows how to make us laugh, even if he is a little dim. The important thing is, he played his hardest and actually is a really good defenseman. His smaller size makes him quick and nimble, and surprisingly can take a hit.

I looked back toward our coach. These are the people I've been playing with for so long. It was a dream for us to get here, and now we're here. There's no way I'll ever leave these guys behind. They're not just my team. They're my family.

And family is the most important thing to me.


	2. All I Am Is A Goon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora takes Catra's joke a little too far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I'm hard on myself and I can't seem to stray from the idea that I'm worthless and have nothing else to give  
> I haven't slept a wink in what feels like days  
> But I know I've only been awake since noon today  
> And it's 4 PM"  
> -Words That Rhyme With Different, etc. by sports.

The burning in my calves became more prominent the more I remained sitting down. I continued to take off my equipment, which felt slightly damp from my sweat. I stuck my tongue out in disgust after catching a brief whiff of the odour coming off of my shoulder pads.

"Gross. Adora, you stink," a voice called from beside me. It was Lonnie, our right-winger.

I nodded, my face still contorted with disgust. "I know. I don't know how this happened. It didn't smell _that_ bad before practice." That was a lie. I had forgotten to wash my gear last time, and it ended up getting a bit smelly. A 3-hour practice didn't help, either.

"Shut up Lonnie, I'm sure she smells fine," Catra retorted from my other side. She leaned over and sniffed, then quickly moved her body back. "Nevermind! Adora, you do stink!"

I frowned for a second, then leaned over back to Catra. "You know, you don't smell so good yourself." Catra shoved me over, forcing me to fell onto Lonnie's shoulder.

"Hey, relax you two! I don't need both of your smelly selves making me smell too." Lonnie shoved me off. "This locker room is gross enough already," she added with a scowl. 

I chuckled, placing my shoulder pads in my bag. I bent over to untie my skates, loosening them up. They slid off easily, years of practice making it seem effortless. I took off the bulky, padded pants, feeling the cold air hit my thighs. Shivers ran up my spine, something I still wasn't used to. The shin pads easily slid off of me as well. I placed them in my bag and grabbed my gray pants from the cubby above me. I slid them on. They were sort of cold but quickly warmed my legs up once I had them on. 

I looked over at Catra. She was already taking off her undershirt to change into her regular outfit. While I was used to seeing girls strip down to their underwear to change, every time I saw Catra do it, I felt nervous. As if I was seeing something I wasn't meant to be seeing. I looked away quickly, my face hot. I proceeded to take off my sweaty, skin-tight shirt and changed into my white long sleeve. I put on my red jacket over it, since it was kind of cold out, despite it being May. I slipped on my boots, I had gotten them a long time ago when I used to live with Shadow Weaver. I chuckled at the thought. She always bought me the same pair of boots every time, just larger. I couldn't say I was unhappy, I really liked those boots.

I zipped up my bag after making sure that everything was inside it, then I looked over to Catra, who seemed to be waiting for me. "You're really slow, Adora. Can't say I expected much more, you get ready about as fast as you skate," she said with a mischievous smile on her face. "Come on, we have to get going. Homework isn't going to do itself, you know."

I narrowed my eyes and smiled at her. "Since when do you care about homework?"

"Since I remembered we were starting college soon. Now come on dummy, we need to go."

I stood up and heaved my bag over my shoulder, following Catra out of the changeroom after saying a quick bye to Lonnie. Catra's tail was always extra flicky after hockey since it was finally free. As we walked out of the change room, we saw Kyle and Rogelio walking out of the rink together. I waved at them and they stopped, waiting for us to catch up.

"Hey Kyle, Rogelio," I said, nodding at them. "Good practice today, huh? If you stop as many pucks as you did during the drills today Rogelio, we'll win for sure." Rogelio nodded, a look of approval on his face. "And Kyle, your stick checking was on point today! Make sure you save some skill for the game." 

Kyle scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. He smiled shyly. "Thanks Adora. You did pretty well in the shooting drill. I always forget how hard you can shoot." 

"Oh please, she can't even aim. She's all power, no skill," Catra cut in. Kyle and Rogelio looked at me with wide eyes. I blinked in frustration, turning around and making my way out of the rink quickly.

"It's getting late. I'll see you later, guys," I said sharply, not turning back to look at them. I felt Catra's gaze on me.

"Adora wait! I was just kidding. You know I can be kind of mean sometimes," she called. And she was right. She is mean! She always makes jokes at _my_ expense. I know she doesn't mean anything by it, but it still hurts sometimes. I continued walking away and made it through the arena doors when I felt Catra reach out to grab my hand. "Adora please, you know I'm joking!"

I ripped my hand out of her grip and turned to face her. "You always say that! I know you're joking, but it's still mean! I know I'm not the best player, but you don't have to say it! I know I'm just some... _dumb_ jock but I do more than just hit people!" 

Catra looked at me wide-eyed. "I know that Adora. I don't think you're a dumb jock! I never even said that." She flattened her ears. "I don't know why I'm mean to you. I don't mean it, by the way." She grabbed my hands with hers again. "Please don't be mad. I can't stand it when we go home and you're mad."

I furrowed my eyebrows and sighed. I let my arms go loose in her hands. "Fine. You know I can't stay mad at you. I know you don't mean it, it's just that-" I wrapped my arm around my midsection-"Sometimes I think it's true."

Catra tilted her head to the right, placing her hands on her hips. "You think what's true?"

I placed my bag on the floor and looked at the floor. "What you say about me. I know it's a joke but you're right! I can't aim. All I am is a goon." I clenched my hands into a tight fist. "All I ever do is hit people and fight! It's not just hockey either, I mean," I chuckled, "It's my life too! I'm not exactly the greatest at school, or anything really, but I do my best for our team and-" I was interrupted by a pair of arms wrapping themselves around my body. I stood there trembling in exasperation for a moment, but then gave into the hug. I pushed my face into Catra's shoulders, my face growing hotter once again. 

"Yeah, you're a goon. But you're the best goon I know." Catra released me and stepped back, her hands on my shoulders. "You're our captain for a reason. You keep us motivated, and you always protect us." She smiled warmly at me, which made me look away. "Sometimes we _need_ a goon like you to keep us in line." I returned the smile, feeling the tightness in my throat disappear. 

Catra reached over to her bag and picked it up. "Now let's go home, we have homework to do."

I sighed playfully and picked up my bag and started following Catra, who wrapped her tail around my arm briefly, sending tingles up my arm. "Right," I said breathlessly. "Homework."


	3. Just Like When We Were Kids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra wants to get ice cream outside in the rain. Adora can't help but remember when they were younger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Your love is better than ice cream  
> Better than anything else that I've tried  
> And your love is better than ice cream  
> But everyone here knows how to fight"  
> -Ice Cream by Sarah McLachlan

The sky was a deep purple by the time we got in the car. My seatbelt was tight around my body, although it felt tighter for some reason. I suppose it's good that I know I'm safely strapped in, but it was _unusually_ tight. I kept both hands on the steering wheel, although I was tempted to pull on my restraint. I noticed the sky getting darker, not because the sun was setting, but because rain clouds were kicking in. I ducked my head to see the sky better, and noticed raindrops start to fall. I set the wipers on the lowest setting, then looked over to Catra. "Hey, it's starting to rain."

Catra gazed out the window, her eyes wide. "Yeah. I know."

I felt cold water hitting my arm so I rolled up my window. "What do you say we watch the lightning when we get home?"

Catra nodded. "Yeah, that sounds like fun! But what about our homework?"

I narrowed my eyes. "Catra, I know you don't want to do homework, you just didn't want to hang out with the others right?"

Catra's ears flattened. "That's not true! I just... _really_ wanted to go home."

I rolled my eyes and looked back at the road, smiling. I felt unusually warm. "I know you're lying, you're not a good liar."

"Okay, Adora. You're right, I didn't want to hang out with them." She paused, her tail flicking at her side. "I just feel like you like them better than me."

I looked back over to her. "Catra, that's not true. I've known you my whole life! I just think it's good to hang out with the people we've known for so long. I mean we are going to be playing together in college soon, right?"

Catra crossed her arms tightly over her chest. "You're right."

I pondered for a second. "Hey, maybe we can go get some ice cream? I know you like that place next to Seaworthy." Catra shrugged, so I started to drive there, the rain filling the silence between us.

That day had been weird. I've always thought that Catra and I were close but what happened in the change room was strange. I've never felt that way before. Catra and I live together now. Before we did, we always shared a room. We were never more than a few feet apart on purpose, I've seen her change countless times and she's seen me change. I just feel... different around her. Like I need to try harder. Not because I need to prove anything, I just want her to know I'm good. I found myself thinking about her a lot.

The neon lighting of the ice cream shop snapped me out of my thoughts. "Okay we're here," I said. I haven't had ice cream here in a long time, but I remember the creamy flavour that it had. It really was the best ice cream on Etheria. I noticed that Catra looked uncomfortable. I put a hand on her shoulder and rubbed my thumb on it. I felt her body stiffen slightly. "Hey what's wrong?"

Catra looked over at me, her eyes full of thought. She didn't reply immediately and instead placed her hand on mine. "Nothing. It's raining outside, you don't have an umbrella do you?"

I knew she was hiding something, but I thought it was best not to ask. I let my hand linger under hers for a moment, embracing her touch, then I gestured to the glove box. "There should be one in there," I said, putting my hands back on the steering wheel since I had no idea where else to put them. 

Catra opened the glove box and took out a red umbrella, then opened the car and stepped outside, the umbrella covering her from the rain. She closed the door behind her and made her way out. I sighed. _I wonder why she's upset. I didn't do anything to her, right? To be fair, I've noticed she's been acting weird around me too. Did she notice that_ I'm _acting weird?_

My thoughts were interrupted by Catra's voice. "Are you just going to sit there all night or are you going to come and join me? This was your idea." She was standing under the roofed front of the store.

I sighed in relief. She didn't sound mad anymore, at least not much more than she usually did. "Yeah, I'm coming." I stepped out of the car into the rain, and for the brief second I was outside, I got very soaked. I groaned and shook my arms, trying to get the water off of them. "Well, that sucked. I should have _two_ umbrellas in my car," I muttered. Water droplets flew everywhere.

I stood under the overhang which gave cover from the rain next to Catra. "You're lucky I'm so nice," I joked. I wiped down my soaked jacket, trying to get as much water off of it as I could before it sunk into the fabric. "Alright, let's go inside," I suggested, wiping my wet hands on my equally wet pants. It didn't really help.

We walked through the door a blast of air hit us from above, making me cold for a second, and then a gust of warm air hit me like the first summer breeze of the year. I looked at the walls with wide eyes, making my way from detail to detail, admiring the decor. It hadn't changed much since I was last here, although why would it? It had only been around two years. Catra and I used to come here all the time when we lived with Shadow Weaver. She never let us have ice cream, so whenever we got a few bucks, we'd sneak out and eat ice cream here. My face softened at the memory. _I wonder if Catra still likes-_

"Chocolate chip cookie dough," Catra said.

"Huh?" I muttered, still in my thoughts.

"I want chocolate chip cookie dough," she re-explained.

"Oh, just like when we were kids," I muttered, my voice distant. I felt Catra staring at me, insisting me to say something. I stared blankly at her until I realized what she wanted. "Oh! I want strawberry." I rubbed the back of my neck in embarrassment. Catra laughed. The sound of her laughing feels so familiar to me. So... _home-y._ It was distinctly higher-pitched than her voice, which made it all the more pleasing to hear. Her barriers broke down when she laughed, her face smoothened by a smile. She was always an angry person, but when she laughed, it's like all of that went away. I liked seeing her smile. It reminded me that I could make Catra happy, even for a brief second.

"Yeah, I see your taste in ice cream hasn't changed either. Still strawberry, huh? Very plain, but also perfectly sweet. Just like you," she added, caution in her voice. I froze for a second. If I had been drinking something, I might have choked on it. Catra's never said anything like that to me, apart from when we were little. We used to tell each other nice things all the time, trying to make each other feel better after the older kids in our group home would make fun of us.

_"Adora!"_

_I turned my head to look at the source of the voice. "Catra! What's wrong?"_

_Catra sniffed, tears in her eyes. Her tail flicked back and forth, and her ears were flattened. She held a hand to her cheek, her hand barely the size of her head. She whimpered and moved her hand to reveal a red mark on her cheek. I gasped. "What happened?" I asked._

_"Lana hit me! She slapped me, and it hurt!" Catra seemed closer to crying. I got up from our bunk bed where I was sitting and ran over to her. I moved her hand from her cheek and brushed my finger lightly over it, causing her to hiss. I retracted my hand and she immediately put her hand back on her cheek. "Is it broken?"_

_I scrunched up my face. "Your face? No silly, it's fine. Why did Lana hit you anyway?"_

_Catra frowned, her tail growing thicker. "She called me a freak," she announced loudly, her voice like static. "And I punched her," she added in a whisper._

_I felt my fists clench in anger. "You're not a freak! She's just jealous because you're more pretty than she is," I spat. I looked around the room furiously, not really knowing what I was looking for._

_I felt a soft caress on my hand. I looked down to see Catra's tail wrapped around my hand. "Calm down Adora. It's okay, I shouldn't have punched her, it's my fault." I felt my grip loosen. "And I'm not as pretty as you."_

_I scoffed. "Okay, whatever, Catra. It's not your fault, by the way. I'm glad you stood up for yourself. Next time, I'll be there with you though. I won't leave your side again. I promised, remember?"_

I blinked my memory away. It was so long ago. Nearly 10 years had passed since then. I haven't broken that promise yet. I noticed Catra staring at me but she looked away before I could address it. Something flashed in her eyes, but I couldn't place what it was. As much as she tried to hide her feelings from others, her eyes always betrayed what she was really thinking. At least, for me. I had lived with her for my entire life, so I was bound to pick up a few tricks. 

"Uh, Adora. Since you were off daydreaming, I decided to order for us." She reached out her hand, holding a chocolate-dipped waffle cone with a scoop of strawberry ice cream topped with sprinkles. My favourite. "Are you going to take it or..." She trailed off.

"Oh! Sorry!" I took the ice cream from her, my hand trembling slightly. _What is wrong with me? I'm completely falling apart..._

"Are you okay?" Catra put a hand on my shoulder, which made me flinch. I realized I was acting like she was in the car. I shook it off as best I could and nodded. "You sure? You get hit in the head a lot. Do you have brain damage?"

I snorted. "Like that time you got a concussion because you fell into the goalie?"

Catra flattened her ears. "No," she hissed. "Shut up! Let's go sit outside," she growled, pacing away from me. I thought I saw a smile on her face as she walked away, her tail brushing against my leg as she walked toward the roofed patio. We pushed through the doors and stood under the canopy, the rain not able to wet us. "Perfect, we're alone out here."

"Well, yeah. It's raining and cold, why would anyone eat ice cream outside?" I sat down at one of the chairs that wasn't wet and began to lick my ice cream. The creamy flavour of that strawberry ice cream I hadn't had in years exploded in my mouth, and I felt like I was trying it for the first time again.

"Do you remember the first time we came here? When we were 15?" Catra blurted out. Sometimes it felt like she could read my mind. I nodded. "We went to the park and sat on that bench on top of the hill and watched the clouds," she continued. I noticed her tail flicking nervously. "Your ice cream started melting and you kept trying to desperately lick it off your hands." She chuckled, but it was short and insincere. "You said it was the best ice cream you've ever had and that you would never waste a single ounce of it." Catra paused for a moment. She looked at me briefly, then looked away, a crazed look in her eye. I noticed she was gripping the ice cream cone so tightly that it began so crumble, and the ice cream had begun to melt onto her furred hand, although she didn't seem to notice and if she did, she didn't care. "Can we go there?"

Her question caught me by surprise. "What?"

"To the bench. On the hill?"

I looked at her and then back outside. "Catra, it's pouring."

She twitched irritably. "Adora please. Can we go there?"

I hesitated. "But our ice cream," I whined, unsure if I was joking or not.

Catra grunted in frustration, her fist growing tighter. The cone had completely given in to her grip, and the ice cream melted even quicker on to her hand. She threw what was left of her ice cream on the ground, then put her hand up to her mouth to lick the ice cream off of it. "You have until I'm done cleaning my hand to finish your ice cream," she muttered, licking her wrist, which was covered in the melted ice cream.

Her tongue dragged along her hand, and had it not been raining, I could have heard the soft rasping sound that her rough tongue made as she drew it across her soft fur. Catra always closed her eyes when she groomed herself, which wasn't often, but usually only if she needed a quick clean up. She also always groomed her hands during games while she was on the bench. She said it "brings good luck". Everyone else thinks it's gross but I thought it was endearing. I silently watched her work her tongue between her fingers, savouring the melted dairy covering her hand. I continued licking my own ice cream, not even enjoying the taste anymore, I was too distracted. I watched as Catra turned her hand over and began to work on her palm. The skin on her palm got shiny as she scored her tongue across it. I hadn't realized that I made it to the cone already. I stopped eating my ice cream, not caring about the cone. I kept my eyes on Catra, on her rough, hooked tongue and how skillfully she used it to quickly clean herself up.

"I can feel you watching me," Catra whispered. She half-opened her eyes and glanced at me. She smirked and tilted her head to look me straight on. "Are you done with that ice cream? Because I'm done over here." She dropped her gaze to my hand, still holding the empty ice cream cone. My grip felt weak, as if I would drop the cone with the slightest of wind.

"Oh uh, yeah. I'm not that hungry." I tossed the cone into the nearby trash. I felt bad, I hated wasting food, but I felt as though Catra would kill me if I wasted anymore time. She had this intense look in her eyes, one I had never seen before. I could see traces of confidence there, but it was mostly just nervousness, and strangely... something else. I have never seen this look on her face, it was different. She didn't seem as tough and rough around the edges as she normally did, but more vulnerable. She looked as though she was meeting someone new, someone she knew nothing about, which is preposterous. I've known her my whole life, and she's known me for all of hers. Yet, she was acting so different, I couldn't help but think that something about her was off. She looked so... _helples_ s. That was something I've never seen from her before. Catra was not much to show emotion, as she let it take her over to easily, and it seemed like right now that's what was happening.

"So are we going?" I heard a tinge of impatience in Catra's voice. I wanted to ask her what was wrong, but decided against it. I followed her back through the restaurant, and out under the roofed front of the shop. She opened the umbrella and gestured for me to get under it.

I took half a step back, raising my hands to my torso. "Are you sure? I mean it's kind of small."

Catra rolled her eyes, her tail whipping back and forth even more exasperated than before. "Adora, we literally have lived together for our whole lives." She glanced to the side. "We've been closer than this."

I didn't know why I was suddenly hesitant to be close to Catra, she had a point. There was no reason for me to be feeling like this all of a sudden. But still, I felt her tense beside me, and in that moment all I wanted was to feel the touch of her against me again.


	4. I Thought You Hated The Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra confronts Adora.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Do you remember days on our old block?  
> Messing with our neighbors, who called the cops  
> Coulda swore that you and me  
> Could get away with anything
> 
> We'd lay on the grass, all day talking  
> 'Cause we snuck out of class when no one was watching  
> I remember you and me  
> Yeah, I remember everything"  
> Little League- Conan Gray

"So tell me why we're going to the park in the middle of a storm again," I asked.

Catra replied curtly. "I didn't."

I sighed, the wind beginning to blow rain onto us. It was surprisingly cold, despite it being June. "I thought you hated the rain," I pressed. Catra must have had a good reason for dragging us both out here. 

"I do, but sometimes I'm willing to make an exception," she said. I wondered why Catra was acting like this. She didn't seem her normal self. Her fur seemed to be on end and her tail twitched more and more. The drops of water on the edge of her fur didn't seem to bother her as much as they usually would, and her gaze was clouded. Her grip on the umbrella was tight, like with the ice cream cone, and her face frozen in a slight frown. Her eyebrows were furrowed and her free hand in a fist at her side.

I put my hand on her arm, her sweatshirt soaked with rain. The umbrella wasn't doing much for the rest of our bodies, but at least our faces were mostly dry. "Catra, is something wrong?" I asked. It was very strange for her to be like this, and I didn't particularly like it. I was used to her telling me everything, and I would tell her everything too. "You're acting kind of weird."

Catra spun around, whipping the umbrella to the side, the rain plastering us now. "I'm acting weird?" Catra took a few quick inhales. "You're the one who can't even look me in the eyes anymore! You're distracted and you tense up whenever I lay a finger on you! Did I do something wrong?" Her voice went quiet, and the sound of loud, hard rain filled the air. And yet, it was still too silent. I couldn't tell if she was crying or if it was the rain on her face.

I felt my heart drop. "No, no you didn't do anything wrong!" I searched for the words but found nothing. I looked at her in exasperation, my mouth open, but nothing coming out. She narrowed her eyes, but not with anger. She looked like she was waiting for me to say something. I didn't know what to say. 

"I've just had a lot on my mind," I blurted out. I don't know why I said that. I hadn't even considered that being something I would say. But it was true, my mind was constantly filled with new thoughts, new emotions. Things I couldn't explain or understand. It was strange for me, all of a sudden I couldn't see Catra the same way. I thought maybe if I didn't look at her, then I would stop feeling like that. We had grown up together, and I grew used to the way she looked; the soft brown fur on her body, the way her nose crooks at the tip, the way her tail moved when she was mad, the unusualness of her different coloured eyes, the flicking of her ears when something was annoying her, her long pointed nails. Regular stuff you tend to notice after spending your whole life next to someone.

But recently, I've been noticing different things about her, things I hadn't paid attention to before. I'd like to blame it on the fact that we're older, and our bodies have changed, but I never thought this much about Lonnie, and I've seen her body change in the past few years. Catra however, caught my eye. I saw her get taller, although she always remained shorter than me, I saw her smile turn into a passive frown, her shoulders broaden, her muscles harden. I noticed her hips get fuller and her body's curves grow deeper. Doing hockey her whole life has certainly not made her look worse. I noticed myself looking at her lips more, wondering how they always looked so soft. The way she walked intrigued me as well; her hips and her tail would move in contrary motion like a metronome, hypnotizing me and making everything disappear around me. 

Of course, I knew about attraction, I lived in a home with a bunch of girls. They always talked about the cute boys from school or the mall and how their jawlines looked or how hot their hair was. I never understood how you could be so obsessed with someone's appearance. Catra and I always stuck together, we never talked to anybody else until we started playing travel hockey. We never talked about boys because we didn't talk to boys outside of our hockey team, and when you only see boys when they're sweaty and tired, you don't think they're attractive. That day we first went to the ice cream shop held a special place in my heart, not because it was the best ice cream I ever had, but because it was the first time I noticed every little detail about Catra. Her laugh under the warm lighting of the sun, the way the gentle breeze ruffled her hair, the colour of her eyes in the direct sun. It was the first time I felt attracted to anyone. I pushed it down though, and it slowly faded. I passed it off as my brain trying to make up for the lack of attraction in the first part of my life. I was 15 when I finally realized I liked someone, even if it was a little bit. I was 15 and a half when I decided I would stop liking someone, I knew it wasn't a good idea to like your best friend, especially when you promised you'd never leave her side. Now I was 17 when I realized that I never stopped liking her.

"And what's that?" Catra looked me right in the eyes, daring me to look away. I only blinked when rainwater got in my eyes, and I didn't look away. "What's been on your mind?" She asked again, her voice desperate. 

I didn't know what she wanted to hear. "Catra, I don't..."

"You never did, did you?" Catra balled her hands into a fist and turned around, facing away from me. _You never felt the same way._ That's what I wanted to hear, what I wish she'd say so I could tell her I did, for years. But she followed up with silence. I was left unsure of her thoughts for the second time that day, for the second time ever. 

I stood uncomfortably. All I wanted was to hug her again. To pretend this never happened and move on. "Catra I don't know what you're talking about," I said softly. "But I don't want you to be mad."

Catra sighed, laughing uncomfortably. "I'm not mad. I've had a lot on my mind too, so I get it." I waited for her to clarify but she didn't. I suppose it was fair, I didn't tell her what was on my mind, so she wasn't telling me what was on hers. Some part of me wished that I was on her mind too. Actually, every part of me wished that. We had never argued this much over anything. Catra raised her hand, pretending to be surprised that it was raining. "Oh well, would you look at that. It's raining! Whatever shall we do?" She asked, dripping with sarcasm.

I narrowed my eyes playfully and raised my hands to the side of my face and arched my fingers. "I don't know but it would be a _shame_ if I pushed you into a puddle." At the end of that sentence, I lunged for her, but she reacted quickly and moved to the side and pushed me instead. I slipped on the wet stone path and fell on my butt, Catra using this to her advantage to try to pin me down. I grabbed her wrists before she could grab mine and spun us over, inverting our position so that I had her pinned down. She struggled and tried to get out of my grip, but I was stronger than her, and kept her down steadily, straddling her so she couldn't move.

Catra growled in frustration. "You always win that," she said, her tail lashing back and forth.

I chuckled. "I don't know why you keep trying." I let her go but neither of us moved. Catra adjusted her hands, interlocking her fingers and placing her hands on top of her chest. "And by the way, that day was my favourite day ever."

Catra looked at me blankly. "What do you mean?"

I noticed I was still sitting on her, and decided to instead sit next to her. She sat up to match me, her back bracing against mine. "That day, the first time we came here. I still remember what you were wearing. Those cool black high tops, the black shorts, and the red tank top. I remember thinking it was so cool."

She smiled. "I know, you told me. And by the way, I still remember what you were wearing too. Those _stupid_ boots of yours, the grey shorts and that _stupid_ jacket you always wear," she said, humour in her voice. I quite liked it, it was my favourite jacket and I wore it all the time. "And remember that cloud you saw? The one that you said looked like a horse?"

I laughed a little. "It did!" 

I could feel Catra rolling her eyes. "Sure it did." Catra tilted her head back and rested it on mine. "I wish we could stay here forever."

"You mean you _want_ to sit here and get soaked? I know you like me Catra, but this is too much, even for you."

Catra scoffed. "This is not because I like you." 

I snorted. "Yeah right."

Catra scooted further away from me, turned back around to face me and held out a hand. "Let's just go home. For real this time." 

I took her hand and we pulled each other up, laughing at how wet the other was. I wanted to tell her everything, but I was too afraid of messing things up. We were both a little emotional, and I didn't want to risk ruining things between us. She had been acting strange as well. _Is it possible that she likes me too?_ I shook my head and decided now was not the time to think about it. I couldn't let anything distract me, especially not before our big game. In the meantime, we could just go home and do homework. Emotions can wait until later, I need to be there for my team. 


	5. It's okay now, we don't live with her anymore.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora's gay panic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "If you're awake then I am too  
> If you're lost then I'll find you  
> If you're hurt then I'll fix you
> 
> If you go blind I'll describe the view  
> If you can't feel then I'll hold you  
> If you fall know I've got you"  
> -It's U by Cavetown

The ride back home was anything but uneventful.

I couldn't help but replay that scene in my head. _Did I really straddle Catra?_ I groaned, gripping the steering wheel tighter. I almost bashed my head against it, but I decided to not crash the car with Catra and me in it this time. But I was really close. Every time I blinked I could see Catra's smug face, plastered with rain, a smirk perched on her lips. I couldn't deny I liked that position; her hands pinned up over her head. It meant she couldn't scratch me like she normally would. And yet I couldn't help but wonder if the slight blush I saw on her face was real. For the quickest moment, I could have sworn I saw Catra's face flash with nervousness, but it was too quickly replaced with that overly confident smirk of hers, her eyebrows lowered and the left side of her mouth slightly raised above the other. I recalled releasing her hands from my grip, but I didn't move off of her for some reason. And she didn't seem to mind, she just made herself comfortable. _On the wet cobblestone floor of a park trail in the middle of a rainstorm. Real smooth Adora._ That moment lasted too little. I got off of her torso, I could feel my cheeks begin to flush. She decided to sit with her back to mine like we used to do when we were younger. In fact, we never stopped doing it. Sometimes when Shadow Weaver would punish us for fighting (and that was something we did a lot. When you grow up with someone, you know how to push each other's buttons), we would often end up back in our room, sitting on the floor in front of our bunk bed back to back, crying. No matter if we were fighting, and it was usually over something stupid, we always had each other's backs. It was a habit we had grown used to, sometimes it was easier to not look at each other. Especially when your caretaker forced you to be silent.

On our way back to the ice cream shop, we laughed about how wet we were, abandoning the crumpled umbrella completely, digging the metallic shaft into the wet dirt, canopy open and ripped and dirtied up with mud, and placed bets on who would get more sick.

_"I swear if I get sick and you don't, I'm gonna make you sick," I joked._

_"Oh yeah? How are you going to do that? Kiss me?"_

I could feel heat rising to my face just from the memory. Was that Catra's way of dropping a hint, or making those subtly flirty jokes like she always does? Either way, it drove me crazy since it happened. _Kiss me,_ her voice repeated in my head. I chewed on the inside of my lip. _Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me._

"Adora." Catra's voice cut into my thoughts, almost making me jump. I looked at her, trying to look nonchalant. "You missed our turn."

I looked in the side mirror and groaned. She was right, I totally missed our turn. But it wasn't my fault, it was hers. I shot a glance at Catra, cursing her under my breath for distracting me. I pressed my lips into a line and kept chewing on the inside of my lip. It was something I learned to do when we lived in the home; Shadow Weaver would get even madder if I yelped in pain during her "lessons", so I learned to suppress it by biting the inside of my mouth. Now it's something I do more often than not. Remembering it made me angry, and suddenly I could taste copper in my mouth. I turned on the blinker to make the next turn so we could actually get home and swung the car heavily to the left at the stoplight without braking or even thinking about it. Catra's body flung to the side and she hit the glass with a thud. A sedan in the oncoming lane narrowly missed us, and I heard a honk fade away into the night. 

"Adora!" Catra's voice was a surprised squeal. "You almost just killed us! What the fuck?" She grasped the handle on top of the door and adjusted herself, patting down her body as if she was checking if she lost any limbs.

"Language, Catra."

"What the fuck do you mean 'language'? I'm lucky I could even _say_ that!" Her voice came out in a hiss. "I mean seriously, did you not check before you turned? I thought you were a good driver!"

"Sorry, I just got mad. I was remembering..." My voice trailed out as I started to work on the inside of my lip once again. 

"Oh." Catra went silent for a second, looking out the front of the window. She ran a hand through her damp hair, moving strands out of her face. "It's okay now, we don't live with her anymore."

I sighed. "I know. But it's only been a _year_ , Catra." I pulled up to the stoplight and slowed the car to the stop, the light illuminating the inside with a red tinge. "I know you still get nightmares. I can hear you thrashing around at night. Like when we were kids."

Catra looked at me funny, grabbing her bicep. "Really? I figured you'd be sleeping."

I shook my head. "I can't sleep most days, Catra. How do you think I _actually_ get my homework done? Do you ever see me working on anything during the day." That was half true. I stayed up most of the night to watch over Catra. Make sure she didn't have any bad nightmares, but when I would begin to hear the birds sing, I would decide to do my homework.

Catra's eyes widened in realization. "Holy shit, how did I not notice?" She blinked. "Sorry, I swore. Why didn't you tell me?"

I shrugged, feeling the divots on the steering wheel with my finger to calm me down. It was something I did so often, there was a significantly smoother spot now. "I don't know. I guess I didn't want you to worry. Besides, I take naps, you know? And coffee exists for a reason."

She snorted at me, rolling her eyes. "You mean you take naps in class, right? I guess it makes sense now, why you're _never_ awake. I just figured you were bored or something."

I chuckled. "Well, that too. Math isn't exactly fun." The light turned green ahead of us, so I hooked another left. Slowly this time. "I mean I'm _fine_ you know. It doesn't really affect me much if I get caffeinated and take naps. It's not like the teachers care." I scowled. "They never did at that school."

Catra groaned. "I know! I mean, how do you see your students show up with bruises and constantly exhausted and _not_ think there's something wrong?" 

I shrugged. "I don't know, the teachers were always stupid. I'm glad we are almost done with high school. And I'm super glad we're done with Shadow Weaver."

She nodded in agreement but didn't reply. I turned left again so we were finally on our street. This day has been too long, and I didn't intend on making it longer. I gazed out the windshield, watching the rain splatter on the glass. I wasn't planning on doing homework once I got home. In fact, all I had was to read some stupid essay about King Lear or whatever and answer questions. I don't have time for it. I could just tell the teacher that I hit my head during practice and had to rest for the night. It happened truthfully a lot, so it wouldn't be completely out of place.

"Catra... why did you want to go to the park?" _Huh? Why am I asking that?_ I surprised even myself. It just came out of my mouth. That was happening a lot lately.

Catra turned to me, a surprised look on her face. I bet she forgot that it was her idea. "I just... I wanted to tell you something."

I swear, if hearts could fall out of chests, mine would have done that right then and there. Instead, it dropped to my feet. "W-what?"

"Adora, I just wanted to tell you- are you shaking?" Catra's voice dropped into a low mocking tone. I loved it when she spoke like that.

_Get it together, Adora. She probably just wanted to personally tell you how stupid your outfit was back on that day._ "Uh yeah... I'm cold." I was lying. I was actually overheating. Was the heater on? "I mean we were just outside in the freezing rain."

Catra pursed her lips. She was thinking. I know her thinking face. "You're cold? Well, we could burrito once we get home," she said slowly, dragging out the words as if she was afraid of saying it too fast. Burrito was a term we coined a long time ago. Shadow Weaver's home didn't have heating. Or at least she never turned it on, so during the cold winters, Catra and I would wrap ourselves tightly in a blanket and try to heat up like that.

_Wait why does Catra keep bringing up things from the past?_ I ignored the thought. "Sure."

The next five minutes to our apartment were silent. Except for the thoughts in my head. They mostly consisted of the words "kiss" and "me", replaying in Catra's adorable taunting voice.

We finally pulled up to our shoddy little apartment complex. I parked the car in our spot next to the dumpster and turned off the ignition. The building itself had about 12 floors on it, and we lived on the fourth. It was the cheapest one we could find, and even so, we could barely afford it. We basically sold everything we had (not that we had much) and even then we could barely pay the deposit. Luckily, the owner of the school gave us a loan. He said that we would have to pay him back as soon as we actually enrolled in his college and that we better not disappoint him. Hordak was his name or something like that. I met him once when I was little. I never thought he'd be in my life again, and yet here he was, providing Catra and me with the means to play high-level hockey. I was just worried about the "paying him back" part. Catra and I were dirt poor and the only place that would hire us had really bad pay and we couldn't exactly work much because of school and hockey. We could barely afford the essentials, and we didn't have internet. We had basic cable thanks to the antenna we found in the trash. Yes, it always cut out at the best parts, leaving Catra to hiss curse words at the tv and me having to physically restrain her from shattering our only source of entertainment. We enjoyed watching some stupid show where women competed to be with some plain, cookie-cutter man. It was fun to laugh at since we both agreed on how dumb it was.

That's why I suggested watching the lightning. Thunderstorms were a rare source of free entertainment. We would turn off the lights (and as a bonus, save on electricity bills), open the blinds and just watch. Sometimes, we'd sit in silence, and other times we'd just chat. I liked counting how much lightning struck in a minute. It forced me to count and relax. The light flickering, lighting the room with a brief, but beautiful spark. The electricity in the air. The sound of rain hitting the glass with the smooth roll of thunder was almost _to_ o nice sometimes, and I'd end up falling asleep at Catra's side. Thunderstorms were one of the only times I ever felt safe enough to sleep. So many times, I'd drift off, mumbling tired thoughts into Catra's shoulder. The last thing I'd see before my eyelids became too heavy was Catra's profile, her eyes entranced with the light show outside. The lighting made her even more beautiful, enhancing and sharpening ever feature on her face. The brief moments where the lightning lit up Catra's face like that was my favourite part of thunderstorms. That and getting to fall asleep on her shoulder.

I sighed at the thought of going back to our apartment. It was nice of course and much better than our previous living arrangement. But I felt bad that we couldn't have stuff like our classmates did. They had things like Runeflix and computers and the internet. Well, we have an old laptop we bought at a garage sale, and we use it mostly when we go to the library for schoolwork, but sometimes we play those stupid computer games that come installed. The laptop lags a lot and the charge doesn't last for that long, but it's definitely better than nothing. Catra always insists that it's fine, we never needed those things before and we don't need them now. Mostly I was just excited. Getting a full ride to college on an athletic scholarship meant we got to live in a dorm and I heard the dorms come with basic internet. That's already much better and plus there are jobs on campus that pay better than our current jobs _an_ d are accommodating for student-athletes. Guess it pays off to be good at hockey.

The rain had kind of died down, and now the car smelled wet. I'm sure we didn't exactly smell the best either, but we didn't care. My clothes were still damp and the wet fabric that clung to my skin had grown cold _. We definitely have to do laundry tomorrow._ I hopped out of the car, walking to the back of the car, getting wet once more. The cover over the bed of our pickup truck was covered in water, and I had to carefully maneuver it off so it wouldn't spill all over the inside. We were lucky to even have this truck. When Catra and I were looking for cars, we went with the cheapest possible one we could find that could hold both of our hockey bags, and now we have this old rusty pickup truck. Travelling on a bus every day with all that gear was getting annoying (and expensive).

After a few minutes, Catra finally came outside to pick up her bag. "Nice of you to show up. I had to take the cover off by myself," I scoffed.

Catra placed her hands on her hips. "Oh whatever, you clearly didn't need my help."

I stuck my tongue out at her. "Whatever kitty. Let's just go inside." At the sound of that nickname, Catra snorted. She hated it when people called her that, but she was fine when I did it for some reason.

_"You earned that right,"_ I remembered her saying. _"I mean you put up with my bullshit for your whole life."_ I also remembered whacking her. It's like she swore extra hard around me because she knows it bothered me. It's just unnecessary to swear.

I picked up my bag and snapped the cover over the bed of the truck, hoping it wouldn't blow off again. Catra and I walked in through the back door of the building and made our way to the elevator. I pressed the button and we stood back to wait for the elevator. Usually, it takes forever to come. There's always at least one broken elevator or an elevator in use. It was already 1 am (we lost track of time) and somehow none of the elevators had come for at least ten minutes.

When we finally got back into our room, we threw our bags on the floor and groaned in unison. I threw my shoes off my feet and immediately started stripping in front of the doorway, and no it wasn't me trying anything. We always used to do this. Shadow Weaver would get mad if we got the floors dirty or wet so we'd have to take off our jackets and shoes and socks and run to our room and change as quickly as possible. The habit never changed and it quickly evolved into us stripping down to our last layer of clothes and throwing the wet ones in the washer, then fighting about who gets to shower first. _If I shower first, I have to wait for the hot water to turn on but I'll get it for a little longer. If I shower second though, then I get the hot water immediately but it'll turn cold halfway through._ These were the kinds of things you have to consider on the way home, but I had been too distracted to worry about it. I was just taking off my shirt when I caught a glimpse of Catra doing the same thing. The bottom of my shirt smacked me in the face with a wet noise and I reacted audibly.

Catra laughed. "Nice going, Adora. Do you not know how to take off a shirt?" I could hear her stupid smirk.

"Shut up Catra." At this point, I realized I was stuck. I couldn't straighten my elbows to get unstuck and the wet fabric was basically waterboarding me. I wiggled my arms and then started to panic. I could feel my heart rate rise and my breathing quicken. _No no... Not a panic attack now..._ I started desperately trying to get out of the trap I put myself in, and it must have only been a few seconds before Catra intervened, but it felt like an eternity. I felt her pull my shirt off my arms with a hard tug, sending me stumbling forward since I wasn't expecting her to PULL MY SHIRT _OFF_.

"Are you okay? I've never seen you fail to take off a shirt before," she said mocking me for what seemed like the millionth time that night. 

I stood there, my heart still racing and my cheeks flushed, although I'm not sure if it was from almost drowning in a shirt or because I just got help getting undressed. It took me a few moments to process what just happened but when I did, my mouth gaped in a silent scream. "Yes!" Okay, so not so silent anymore. I took a deep breath and lowered my voice. "I'm fine." 

Catra looked at me up and down, pursing her lips, pressing them into a thin line. She widened her eyes and then pushed my shirt into my hands. "Uh, here's your shirt. It's gross and wet."

I suppressed a blush. "Um, so is yours probably," I said, glaring at her shirt which was now on the floor. "We were just outside in the rain because _someone_ wanted to go to the park."

Catra blinked slowly and threw her shirt in my face. "I'm going to shower now. You should join me," she joked. 

"Hah, you wish." It took all of my concentration to not stutter. I hated when she joked like that, it's like she knows it bothers me. I watched her strut into the bathroom, gnawing on the inside of my lip again. As the bathroom door closed, I let out a long sigh. I threw our shirts into the laundry bin and threw myself on the couch, letting my body sink into the cheap fake leather. I felt my stomach growl and contemplated eating something, but I remembered Catra and I's rule. We always eat together; if she starves, I starve and vice versa. I frowned and growled a little. A cold breeze ran up my bare arm. _Right, I'm in a bra._ I suddenly felt self-conscious for the first time in a long time. Living where we did, you learned to develop a thick skin. I closed my eyes, letting exhaustion take over.

_Man, girls are ruthless._


	6. Did you dream about me, Adora?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora's gay panic part 2.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "And I'm stupid with love  
> I wanna get it  
> I wanna to get it, but how?  
> Smart with math, but stupid with love  
> I wanna get it  
> I didn't get it till now"  
> -Stupid With Love, from the Mean Girls Musical

_I looked around nervously, my eyes absorbing all of the sights and lights. I felt Catra's hand tighten around mine. I tightened my grip as well, the absurd amount of sounds overwhelming me. I shut my eyes as hard as I could, trying to block out the world. "Shadow Weaver is going to be so mad that we sneaked out," I whined._

_Catra swung my hand in the air. "She gets mad at us over everything. Besides, she let Lana go out! We're just having fun."_

_I shrugged. "Yeah, you're right." We continued walking down the sidewalk hand in hand._

_A bright television screen caught my eye. A television store! "Hey, Catra look!" I pulled on her hand, forcing her to a stop._

_Catra squeaked. "Adora, wh-". Her words caught on an invisible spider web. She stared wide-eyed at the screen of TVs on display. Her jaw dropped, mesmerized. "Wow, Adora! What is that?"_

_I looked at the screen, seeing what looked like people in uniforms gliding around on a slippery, shiny, white surface. They appeared to be chasing a black disc, and occasionally hitting each other. My lips turned up into a smile. "It must be one of those 'sports' that we heard Lana talk about with those boys at school!" I scrunched up my face, trying to remember what they were saying. "I think it's called hockey!"_

_Catra's eyes widened even more. "I want to play it," she whispered. She placed a hand on the glass of the display._

_"Yeah, me too!" I thought about how fun it would be to be one of those people. They seemed to wear bulky clothes and glide around, hitting each other and scoring points. I was lost in my own fantasy when I heard a voice from behind us._

_"You think you can play hockey? You're only ten. And besides, that's a boy sport, you wouldn't last a second." It was Lana._

_"What do you know, Lana? Just because you never do anything new doesn't mean we can't," Catra huffed._

_"Watch it, kitty kitty. We don't want one of those boys pulling on your freak tail, do we?" The girls she was with started chuckling around her._

_Catra recoiled. I released her hand and balled mine into a fist._ I don't care if she's two years older than me, _I thought._ Nobody speaks to my Catra that way! _My eyes narrowed into slits and in a matter of seconds, I swung my arm back and flung it forward, driving my fist right into Lana's nose. I yelled in rage as I did it, feeling a satisfying crunch beneath my fist. Lana screamed, falling back on the floor. I threw myself on top of her as her friends watched, gasping and trying to get past Catra who was holding them back. I threw punch after punch at Lana, eventually busting her lip and giving her a black eye._

_One of Lana's friends managed to get past Catra and threw me off of Lana into a wall. "You crazy bitch! You're insane!" They helped Lana up and stumbled off with her._

_I looked down at my blood-covered hands, trembling. The pain in my back from the impact coursed through my body. Yet, it didn't bother me. I looked at Catra, who looked at me with a shocked expression. "She deserved it, you know," I whispered._

_Catra smiled, wrapping her arms around me. "Thanks, Adora."_

_"Adora."_

_"Adora?"_

"ADORA!"

I gasped heavily, my whole body flinching as if I had just fallen. My eyes shot around wildly, trying to remember where I was. My gaze landed on Catra, who was standing over me with her hand on my shoulder. _And I'm still not wearing a shirt._ I groaned inwardly. I sat up, placing a hand on my head. I looked around awkwardly, still trying to figure out what day it was. It was one of those naps. I blinked groggily. _I guess I was more exhausted than I thought._

"Adora, you fell asleep. I just hopped out of the shower if you want to clean up." Catra looked at me closer. I returned the favour. Of course she just got out of the shower, I was too stupid to notice her body wrapped in a dark maroon towel. Her arms were still slightly wet, I know it takes a little bit longer for her to completely dry off because of the small amount of fur she had all over her body. It was cute. I felt heat rising to my face in a blush. _She's in a towel._

"Um, yeah just... give me a sec to process everything, I still feel like I'm dreaming." I looked down at my shaking hands, half expecting them to be covered in Lana's blood. When I saw they were completely clean (save for some dry mud from the park), I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. _I can't believe I did that when I was only ten._ My breath shook for a second. _Guess I always was a goon, huh?_ I chuckled softly at the memory. _It's not my fault Lana and her posse couldn't hold their own against two ten-year-olds._

"What's so funny?" Catra asked and then her voice dropped. "Did you dream about me, Adora?" Her voice was low, almost a whisper, and silky like velvet. I felt butterflies in my stomach.

I smiled, my cheeks more flushed, if that's even possible. "Yeah kind of. Do you remember Lana?"

Catra growled. "That bitch-OW," she squeaked as I smacked her arm. "Yeah, I remember her. Definitely can't forget her attitude."

I nodded. "I dreamt about that time I beat her up."

Catra grinned. "Which time?"

"That time she called you a freak."

Catra crossed her arms and scoffed. "Yeah, which time?"

I snorted. "Okay, yeah she was pretty mean. That day we saw the hockey game on tv, remember? The day we both decided we wanted to play hockey."

Catra smiled, recalling the thought. "Oh yeah, the second-best decision of my life."

I put my arm on the headrest of the couch and stretched my arm along it. "Yeah. That felt good."

Catra raised her eyebrows. "Damn Adora. I know you're violent but wow."

Now it was my turn to scoff. "Catra! I'm not violent, I'm just protective."

"Sure, whatever. I'm gonna go change if you want to go shower," she said, walking back to her room and closing the door behind her. 

I took a moment for me to actually get up. I stretched my hands, my fingers sore from being balled into a fist for so long. Grabbing my towel from my room, I entered the bathroom and turned on the water, letting it cascade on my back and wash away the dirt and sweat from my skin. The best part of getting home after a long day is definitely showering. Catra hates it though, she only showers once a week, if at all. Somehow, she's cleaner than me though. I reached over my back to scrub my neck and was met with a sharp pain that I could easily recognize as a bruise on my lower back. _Must have been from when Catra pinned me to the boards._ I rolled my eyes, but couldn't keep myself from smiling. The water started to turn cold, so I shampooed my hair quickly and rinsed it out. 

I stepped out of the shower, drying off before I got too cold. I wrapped the towel under my armpits, letting my hair fall around my shoulders, cool and camp. I opened the door to the bathroom and stepped out, feeling the cold air hit my skin, sending a shiver up my skin. Catra was sitting on the couch, her back turned to me, reading what I assume was one of the books we bought at a thrift store. She wore a faded burgundy t-shirt, her fur sticking up in damp points along her neck. Her hair was less wet than before, but still moist. Her ears kept absent-mindedly flicking, the water droplets on them causing this reaction. I smiled at her, glad she didn't notice me staring at her.

Once I went into my room and closed the door, I opened a drawer on my dresser. I decided to wear some shorts and a tank top. I quickly put those on and then stepped out again. I walked toward the couch and placed a hand on the back rest next to Catra's head and jumped, swinging my legs over the couch, landing next to her.

"How do you have the energy to do that right now?" Catra squealed. _I guess I surprised her? She must have been really entranced in the book._

I snorted. "Insomnia, baby."

Catra huffed. "Adora, it's like 2 in the morning. Maybe we should go to sleep?" She put a hand on my forearm. I felt cold under her warm touch. I frowned, making a pouting face.

"Catra, I can't go to bed now, it's too late. There's no point."

Catra frowned. She put her arm around me and pushed me toward her. "Fine, but you're staying here with me. I'm too cold to go to bed by myself, so we're having a sleepover."

I pursed my lips. "On the couch?"

Catra shrugged and looked at me. "Yeah sure, that's never stopped us before." She reached over my and grabbed the blanket we kept in the living room. She wrapped us both in it. _Whaddya know. We burritoed after all._ "I bet you'll fall asleep."

I scoffed. "Yeah right." I laid my head on her shoulder, burrowing until I found a comfortable spot. She laid her head on mine. "I'm not even that tired," I lied.

"Whatever, nerd," Catra whispered with a smile. I didn't say anything, and she didn't either. I stayed still, listening to her breathing, the muscles in my body relaxing. I could feel her grip on my arm loosen, and her breathing start to slow. Her breaths became low and subtle, and became to deepen into soft purring. I smiled, and closed my eyes, letting her purring take me away from everything and into a place where it's just me and her.

Eventually everything drifted away, and I slept well for the first time in weeks. 


	7. Adora? Having a crush? That's unlikely.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora can't hide her feelings anymore. Thanks Lonnie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love  
> Not knowing what it was  
> I will not give you up this time  
> Darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own  
> And in your eyes, you're holding mine"  
> -Perfect by Ed Sheeran

When I woke up the next morning, I was laying on my back on the couch. My leg was hanging off the edge and I had the blanket on top of me. My eyes slowly opened, adjusting to the light and the fact that I wasn't in my room. I looked around with groggy eyes, my eyes landing on the clock on the wall on top of our TV. It took me a minute, but I figured out it read-

" _11_ _:30?_ " I shouted in alarm. My body shot up, my head spinning from the head rush. _Crap! Forgot to take the iron supplements again._ I had to grab the back of the couch until my vision was restored. I looked around trying to find some sort of indication that this was, in fact, a bad dream and that I wasn't late for school.

Instead, what I found myself looking at was Catra leaning against the counter in the kitchen. Her hair was still messy but controlled. Her tail flicked slightly as she made eye contact with me and smirked. I stood there, my hair a disaster, hunched over, mouth agape like some sort of caveman while Catra stood there looking like... _that._

"Morning, sleepyhead," she greeted sarcastically.

"Catra! It's almost noon! Why didn't you wake me? We're late for class!"

Catra looked at me with her signature _You've-Gotta-Be-Effing-Kidding-Me_ face. "You're kidding," she said flatly. When I shook my head, she put her fingertips on her forehead. "Adora, it's Saturday."

I blinked once, then twice. "Oh." I smacked my forehead with the palm of my hand. "Duh, yesterday was our Friday practice."

Catra smugly crossed her arms and gave me a half-smirk. Or was it just a smile? I still wasn't seeing right. "Are you sure you don't have a brain injury?"

I walked over to Catra and leaned over next to her. "Yes, I'm sure," I said when the smell of food entered my nostrils. "Hey did you make breakfast? It smells really good."

Catra rolled her eyes. "Of course you'd notice that. Yes, I made us breakfast. Scrambled eggs and bacon. I know you like it."

My eyes widened. "What? But bacon's so expensive," I said with a slight frown. We always tried to keep our meals cheap, and breakfast was usually just bread and eggs, or store-brand waffles. Cheap stuff. But bacon? That was something we only bought after successful tournaments.

"I know, Adora. But I put aside a few bucks from that _stupid_ cashier job for this," she said with a nervous smile. "I know you like bacon," she added in a mutter.

I smiled hard at her. "Is that why you took that extra shift?" At her nodding, I pulled her into a tight hug. "Thanks, Catra. You're the best," I said softly into her ear. She still smelled like shampoo.

Catra pushed me off of her and held her hands out, keeping me at arm's length. "Alright, alright. Now let's get eating," she declared with a grin. "I can hear your stomach growling from here."

A few hours later, we were hitting the road. And by that I mean we were walking. Gas is expensive.

Today, I dressed a little nicer. Catra said that she had made plans to hang out with Lonnie, Kyle, and Rogelio since we blew them off the day prior. They usually saw me solely after practices or before games, so I wanted them to know that I'm more than just a jock. Or at least think it. I had put on my only pair of blue jeans, a casual white and red flannel, and my usual boots. I styled my hair as per usual; a tight, high ponytail with a little poof sticking out the top. Catra thought I was being too over the top, but she doesn't get it.

She's cool outside of sports, unlike me. She's actually got other interests! Catra is a great artist, and she loves biology. She wants to do biological illustration, and I'm certain she could do it, she's definitely inspired enough. But what do I want to do? I want to be a personal trainer. Or go into sports medicine.

Catra and I walked side by side down the sidewalks of the city. Luckily where we were meeting the others wasn't too far from our apartment, so there was no need to drive. We arrived at our destination after around 10 minutes of walking.

"Did you really have to dress up that much?" Catra snorted at me, eyeing me up and down.

I pulled at the collar of my flannel, swallowing nervously. "Do I look bad?" I asked while patting at my clothing.

"No, you look nice," Catra said while looking at my shirt. "But why did you try so hard?"

I shrugged with a sigh. "I just want people to think I'm not just... a jock," I admitted.

Catra scoffed and grabbed my hand. "Adora, you're not just a jock. You're more than that," she raised my hand to her chest. "In here and-" she raised my hand to my chest, "In here."

My cheeks flared. "Really? Well now I feel silly," I muttered. I bit the inside of my lip. Catra squeezed my hand to reassure me. We walked the rest of the way to the meetup place and walked inside. The other three waved at us from a booth, we walked over to them and sat across from them.

"Hey guys," Lonnie called with a smile on her face. Kyle and Rogelio greeted and waved at us. "Glad you could make it this time," she added with a smirk.

"Sorry," I apologized while settling into my seat. "Catra and I wanted to get home before it started raining," I lied. "So we wouldn't get wet," I added, suppressing a smile.

"Mhm," Lonnie replied. "Sure. So what are y'all planning on getting?" She looked at Catra and I.

We shrugged. "Fries?" We said in unison. We weren't exactly ready to buy anything too expensive so fries and a small drink is what we usually got. We looked at each other with a slight frown, then looked away.

Lonnie gave us a weird glare. "You're kidding, right?" When we gave her no reaction, she blinked. "You're not just having fries," she declared. "It's on me, I insist."

Catra and I both looked at her and shook our heads, which made her insist even more. She told us to stay here while they went to order. Rogelio stayed with us to make sure that we didn't get up to try to stop them. Catra sighed and leaned back in our booth. "So... Rogelio..." She trailed off, searching for something to say. "You like being a goalie?"

Rogelio looked at her and gave an approving growl. He nodded his head and began to try to explain something to us while using his hands to gesture. I didn't really understand him and Catra seemed just as clueless which made Rogelio sigh and shake his head. I gave him a small smile and leaned on the table with my elbows, tapping my fingers on the hard plastic. I looked at a painting of a vintage car, painted with sepia tones. _It's a really nice car. I wonder how much it's worth now. If it's even around anymore._ I started to tap my feet as well, feeling restless from sitting for so long. _Well, whoever painted that must have been really skilled. I know Catra still struggles with painting metals._ I looked over at Catra, taking in her profile as she laughed about something with Rogelio.

_She's so pretty_ _._ _I hope she knows it._ I exhaled sharply through my nose with a smile. _Who am I kidding, she definitely knows it._ My eyes lingered over her clothing. _How does she pull that off so well? She makes even a sleeveless shirt and sweatpants look fashionable._ I pressed my lips together and moved my eyes back up to her face, noticing she was staring right at me.

"Uh... Adora?" She asked, a weird look on her face.

I snapped my eyes away from hers for a second, then returned the gaze, my cheeks reddening. "Yeah?"

Catra snorted. "You were staring at me," she said with a half-smile on her face.

I tried to look confused. "Oh, I was?" I rubbed the back of my neck. "Sorry, I must have spaced out." I looked at the table and began to rub my hands on my pants. _What is wrong with me?_

Catra let out a soft giggle. "Whatever, idiot." She looked over my shoulder. "Hey Lonnie and Kyle are back," she said enthusiastically. She swiped her tongue over her top lip. I turned around to see them and saw Kyle and Lonnie approach holding trays. Kyle looked like he was using all his effort into not letting the food fall while Lonnie made her way over effortlessly.

"Okay. Rogelio, here are your two burgers and fries. Kyle, here is your burger and onion rings and this is my burger," she said while placing the food in front of them. She turned to us. "I didn't know what you liked so I got you each a burger and one large fries. Kyle's got the drinks." She shoved Kyle forward, who tried to not drop the tray with a nervous squeak.

"Umm okay so... Rogelio, here's your large Electric Peak." He set the large cup down carefully in front of the large lizard boy who smiled at him. He picked up another large cup full of clear soda. "Here is our drink, Lonnie. Oh, Adora and Catra, we didn't really know what to get you so we just got you one large Colka," he said while placing it in front of us. "I hope that's okay." He sat down awkwardly next to Rogelio as Lonnie pushed him over so she could sit.

I looked at them with a genuine smile on my face. "You really didn't have to buy us anything, you know." I looked down at my burger, basically drooling on it. "But thank you so much."

I looked over at Catra, who had already stuffed her face with fries and nudged her. She swallowed hard. "Uh yeah, thanks," she shot me a wink. "We haven't eaten shit like this in so long, it's definitely appreciated," she said before putting another fry into her mouth. I rolled my eyes and took a couple of fries for myself.

"So, how are you two doing?" Lonnie asked with a sly smile on her face. She took a long slurp of her drink. "Still living on your own?" She leaned back and unwrapped her burger, taking a bite while glancing between Catra and me.

I shrugged, but Catra responded. "Yeah, obviously. What else would we be doing?" She took a sip of our drink and glared at Lonnie.

Lonnie replied with a returned glare. "I figured you would have driven each other insane by now," she said while looking at Kyle and Rogelio who tried to avoid eye contact, "Seeing as how you two always seem to be arguing."

Catra opened her mouth but I cut her off. "No, we're fine. Sometimes we get tense because we don't have much to do but," I put my arm around Catras's shoulder and pulled her in closer to me. "We always end up okay, right Kitty?"

Catra scoffed and pushed me off of her with a small smile on her face. "Whatever, dork."

Lonnie narrowed her eyes at us, her smile not fading. "So, are you seeing anyone?" She asked with the mischief only a group of rowdy teenagers could have.

I glanced over at Catra, who glanced over at me too. We both looked away. "Uh no, I don't talk to people outside of our hockey team, really..." I fiddled with a napkin in my hands. _Why was she looking at me?_ Catra muttered out a similar statement and took a bite of her burger. I took one too.

Lonnie looked over to Rogelio and Kyle with a knowing look in her eye. They returned the look with a sly grin on all of their faces. Before I knew it, they were all leaning over the table closer to us with the same look in their eyes. "Are you sure?" They all asked in unison, minus Rogelio since he doesn't talk.

Kyle spoke on his own. "Because we thought-"

Lonnie continued. "-You two were-"

Rogelio tented his fingers and winked at us. "Together," Kyle and Lonnie finished in sync.

Catra scoffed next to me and I waved my hands in the air, shaking my head. My face was red and I buried it in my hands, so I never knew what Catra's looked like. I wish I did look, though. _That's ridiculous_ , I thought. _Catra and I? Dating?_ I suppressed a nervous laugh.

"As much as I know Blondie over here would _love_ that," Catra teased. "We are not together," she said with a dim smirk on her face. She looked over at me with an expectant glance, then looked back at her burger and took another bite. I huffed and took a sip of our soda.

"Yeah that's ridiculous," I stammered. "Why would you even think something like that?"

The three of them sitting across from us all gave us the same glare. "Well, you and Catra are always teasing each other," Kyle said.

"And you're way too touchy, even for best friends," Lonnie added. "I mean the three of us pretty much grew up together and we-" Lonnie cut off with a glance over at the two boys. "Well, we're not like you two," she said, crossing her arms over her chest. "Not to mention Catra just caught you _staring_ at her," she added with a snicker. 

I let out a small whine and sunk into my seat, my face heating up. Seems to be a common occurrence. Catra gave me a soft smile before laughing softly. "Oh please," she said to our friends. "Adora? Having a crush? That's unlikely," she started. "Trust me, I've known her all my life. She's never..." Catra trailed off and turned her head completely to me. "She's never liked anyone before..." 

_Crap, she figured me out._ I looked over at her and frowned slightly. Kyle and Rogelio looked at each other with a confused look, while Lonnie coughed and looked to the side. "Okay, I believe you," Lonnie said quickly. "We were just teasing," she muttered. 

"Let's just talk about... our big game," Kyle interjected. "Are you guys ready?"  
  


The rest of the afternoon passed as quickly as a kidney stone. I knew they meant no harm, this is just how they were. I couldn't help but feel uneasy after that, and I'm sure that everyone else did too. Catra ignored me mostly, and it was really awkward. I had to leave early because I had work, and even then the person who has the shift before me noticed I was acting weird. After many long hours of moving boxes around in a warehouse and cleaning floors, my shift was finally over.

"Bye Bill," I called out to my supervisor who waved at me. I walked out of the big metal doors. It was the dead of night. I looked at my watch. _1:24 AM._ I sighed and made my way over to the curb and sat down. I looked down the street a few times and saw no taxis or any cars. _Just my luck,_ I growled. 

The problem is, I work a good 45 minutes away from Catra and I's apartment on foot. Since gas prices are so high and our car leaks gas at a fast rate, we only use the car to go to hockey practice. We fill the tank once a week and that gets us through our 3 practices and 2 games. That means we have to bus or taxi everywhere else though, which is a big waste of money. Using the car would cost even more since we'd have to fill the tank so many times. We have a jar where we put extra money toward getting the car fixed, but we're still low by a lot.

Between bus fare to get there and taxi cost to get back since buses don't run when I get out, I'm left with very little of my wage at the end of the day. Taxis are expensive in the dead of night, but it's better than having no job. In fact, I don't even think it's legal to have a minor working that late at night especially with the wage they give me. I can't complain though, it's the only job that would hire me having the schedule that I do. It's not like I ever sleep anyway.

I got up from the curb and walked down the sidewalk to one of the main roads. I saw a bright light making its way down the street and stuck my arm in front of me to block the light. I squinted at the street and noticed it was a cab. I put my hand in a fist and stuck up my thumb. The taxi pulled over next to me and I went to the passenger window and leaned on it, looking at the guy inside. He gave me a weird look.

"Why are you out by yourself? It's nearly 2 in the morning, missy," he said to me. "You must be what? 15? 16?"

I scoffed. "17, actually." I crossed my arms. "So can you take me or should I hail another cab?" 

The driver chortled and pointed to the backseat. "Get in," he said. I opened the rear door and sat in the back. "My name is Adam. So where am I taking you," he asked, trailing off.

"Adora," I told him. "And you can take me to the apartments on Gridlock Parkway," I added. 

"Adora," he echoed. "Interesting name. Where are you from?"

I ignored his question. "Shouldn't we be going now?" 

He chuckled. "Yes, sorry." He started his taximeter and pulled off into the road. After a moment of silence, he decided to try to talk to me again. "So why were you outside?"

I grunted and rolled my eyes. "I was working," I said simply and looked out the window. The industrial side of Etheria looked so unnerving at night, but I actually kind of liked it. The sound of machinery and sour, metallic smell kept me grounded.

"Working? This late? A young girl like you shouldn't be doing that," he told me. "Your parents should be taking care of that for you."

I stiffened, my frown turning into a scowl. I clenched my hands into fists, my nails digging into my palm. "It's none of your business," I said firmly. "Now please stop talking to me," I added. "I prefer not to exchange pleasantries with random strangers." 

The taxi driver opened his mouth but closed it before he could say anything. He simply nodded and we rode in silence for the rest of the time. "That'll be 23.50," he finally said after the car rolled to a stop in front of my apartment. 

"Fine, here you go," I said as I handed him the money and jumped out of the car. 

I started walking away when I heard him call me one last time. "I'm sorry," was all he said before driving away. I looked at the empty road, angry tears in my eyes. I blinked them away before I turned around and walked through the front doors of the building. The harsh lights stung my eyes, and I had to let my eyes readjust before continuing. The elevator took ten minutes, as always. I could take the stairs, but my body was exhausted. And we usually try to avoid the stairs, there are usually people doing drugs or something in the stairwell. 

The elevator arrived with a ding. I stepped inside and pressed the fourth-floor button. I looked in the mirror, noticing my messy hair and scowl. I took a deep breath and tried to relax my face. My cool gray work uniform jumpsuit washed out my skin even more. I sighed and walked out of the elevator once the doors open, hooking a left and arriving at our door. I noticed there was no light peeking out from under the door. _She must be asleep,_ I assumed. I took out my keys and turned the lock. The door creaked open, and before I closed it behind me, I saw Catra laying on the couch with her back to the door. I closed the door softly and turned on the light.

"Hey Adora," Catra said softly. She turned over and sat up, looking at me. "How was work?" She asked in an uninterested tone.

I stayed in my place in front of the door, taking off my boots. "Fine," I said. I looked down at my laces, taking my time undoing them. 

"Adora, I know something is up with you," she spoke. She took a sharp breath. "I'm sorry if I was ignoring you earlier," she apologized. "But I just want to be sure I understood correctly," she whispered just loud enough so I could hear. "When Lonnie said that... you liked me-"

"She was right," I interrupted quickly. "She was right, okay?" I kicked off my boots, my hands shaking. I got up and walked quickly to my room. Catra leaped off the couch to follow me. I threw the door closed behind me, but Catra stopped it with her arm. I whipped around to face her. "What do you want? I already confessed," I burst out, my voice wavering. "I know it's weird, especially since I've known you forever and we've been through so much." I started crying. "But I just can't help it! Every time I look at you I wonder what it would be like to be yours," I blabbered. _Adora, what are you doing? Shut up!_ "I'm so-"

I was cut off by Catra cupping my face in her hands and pulling me down into a quick kiss. "Adora, shut up," she spoke after pulling away. "You're such an idiot."

I started crying even harder, which caused Catra to panic. "Oh shit. Are you crying because of me? I'm so fucking sorry! Damn it. I always ruin everything, what the fuck?" She put her hands into her hair and pursed her lips, her eyes wide in panic. I saw her tail begin to lash side to side furiously. It was my turn to pull her into a long kiss. I pulled away, with a smile on my face. She grinned at me.

"Wow," I whispered. 

"Don't ruin it," she spoke flatly. I saw a little smile on her face. "I'm sorry, again. For acting weird," she said putting her arms around my neck. "I just... I didn't know how to process it." She laughed a little. "It felt like you were trying to prank me," she admitted. "Because I've liked you for _years_ , Adora."

I smiled. "Really?" Catra nodded. "Me too," I said with a laugh. 

Catra punched me in the shoulder and pushed me backwards. "Okay," she giggled. "Don't get all sentimental on me, Adora." 

I punched her in return. "Wouldn't dream of it, Catra," I spoke sternly with a fake serious face. We both burst into laughter at the same time. "So... are we... you know... together now?"

Catra gave me another one of _You've-Gotta-Be-Effing-Kidding-Me_ faces. "Duh, you dummy." 

We laid on my bed for a little while just talking. Catra fell asleep much quicker than I did, and for the next few hours, until I fell asleep, I listened to her purring, curled up next to me. Despite the number of times we've been in this same position, this one felt different. This one is all I've ever wanted. 


	8. Play Strong!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The big game. Adora gets injured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "There's blood on the ground  
> And bones in the dirt  
> Here we are on the frontlines  
> Get ready to hurt  
> There's no backin' down  
> I'm gonna stand my ground  
> It's do or die  
> Someone ain't going home alive"  
> -Rivalry by Airbourne

A week had passed since Catra and I confessed to each other. It felt like the longest time in the world, but it also passed too quickly. Every moment we had together felt familiar, but new. Nothing really changed between us, even after we started calling each other "my girlfriend", we were still pretty much equally as touchy and annoying as before. The only thing that really changed is that now it meant something. Now it was _real._

Oh- also now we kiss sometimes. Okay. A lot. But can you blame us? Years of pining and now we can finally be together. I wish I had told her sooner, and part of me thinks she wishes the same thing.

But now, one week later, it's game day. Our big game against the Bright Moon Rebel prospects. It's a big game because even though we're not officially on the school team yet, we will be. The Bright Moon Rebels and the Horde Force have always had a big rivalry. We even get to play in the official school rink today, we get the home-ice advantage. We play in what everyone calls _The Fright Zone._

The Fright Zone is what the Horde's arena has been gracefully dubbed by other schools, and now by the students at Horde University. The players who play for the Horde are usually big, tough and not afraid to get physical. Naturally, Catra and I fit right in. We may not be as big as some of the people here, but we certainly are not afraid to throw our bodies around. This arena has a reputation for being where most injuries happen, and the students here are very proud to be a part of the Horde student body, they come to games a lot and intimidate the heck out of everybody.

Athletes in the Horde play so hard and so tough, they earned a nickname; Soldiers. The Horde Force, or sometimes also referred to as the Horde Soldiers, is definitely a _force_ to be reckoned with.

We were sat in the change room right before our big game. Muffled cheering from outside could barely be heard. Our whole team was silent, as if we were all holding our breath. We heard the door open and everyone snapped their head toward it as the cheering became more audible for a moment until the door closed again.

"Alright team," our coach started. "Tonight's our big game. You know what we have to do, we went over the game plan a million times," he said loudly, eyeing everyone. He re-explained the plan, drawing on the whiteboard hockey rink in his hands. He asked if we understood, and we all nodded. My leg bounced with anticipation and nerves.

"We have some older players who will be playing their last game with us tonight," he said. The room exploded into cheers. "Let's give a round of applause to them," he exclaimed, clapping his hands. "Best of luck to our oldest _cadet_ s," he said with a laugh, alluding to the 'Soldier' nickname.

"Rogelio, our goalie. You've saved our ass so many times," he said with a hearty laugh. Some guys sitting next to Rogelio gave him a good-hearted slap on his pads and Lonnie and Kyle shoved him. "Kyle, one of our defensemen. Keeping us out of trouble and blocking shots!" Now it was Kyle's turn to get pummeled. He laughed quietly and rubbed his arm where he got hit. "Lonnie and Catra, our wingers. You two generate goals like no other," he encouraged as they were getting showered with love. I gave Catra a quick punch to the arm. She gazed at me with a smile.

Coach turned to me. "And our mighty captain Adora," he started, generating cheers from the room. I blushed. "Always a heavy hitter and an even harder shooter," he cheered. "Get one of those Rebels for me, will you?" He asked, hitting me in the shoulder.

I laughed. "Of course, Coach," I responded. The room erupted into cheering. Catra returned the punch, and I returned the smile.

Our coach signalled for us to quiet down. "As is customary for our graduating players, we got you all matching rings," he said, handing us each a box. I opened mine, and on the ring was engraved my jersey number and my name. _Adora Grayskull. #1._ In the centre of the ring was the Horde logo. There was a little sticky note inside the box, but Coach started talking before I got to it. I closed the box again to listen to him.

"Thank you all for being a wonderful part of our team. You will be an amazing addition to next year's _official_ team roster." We all shared excited looks. Everyone started to clap. "Now let's kick some Rebel ass!"

The entire change room jumped up to their feet and chanted. We put our hands in the middle and threw them back up in the air. _It's go time._

We lined up and walked out the change room into the tunnel leading up to the ice. The arena was jam-packed full of screaming spectators. The seats were full of red and black, which meant most of the viewers were Horde fans. I looked in awe. We had never played in front of this many people. I felt even more amazed when I noticed that the lights were dimmed and there were spotlights spinning around, lighting up the ice in such a showy way. My heart quickened with excitement. This felt so official.

I jumped on to the ice, followed by the rest of my team. I looked over to the other side of the ice to size up the opposing team. I skated around in circles, taking a puck and shooting it at Rogelio, giving him a good warm-up. My eyes focused back on the other team. Their white jerseys with bright colours definitely clashed with our red, black, and white ones. I narrowed my eyes before rolling them and skated over to Catra.

"Their uniforms are ridiculous," I said to her. "Why would anyone choose pastels as their team colours?"

Catra shrugged, a smirk on her face. "I don't know, but it's certainly fucking ridiculous," she said mockingly. I whacked her with my stick. "They certainly look like.... Princesses or something," she added.

I laughed and nodded, taking another puck and shooting it at Rogelio before our pre game warm up time ran out. We skated over to the faceoff circle, I gave Catra a quiet good luck and she muttered it back to me. I took my place at the circle, glaring at my match up. He was a taller guy, maybe even a year or so older than me with an obnoxious dark moustache. I narrowed my eyes at him and he simply grinned at me and winked. I groaned and rolled my eyes. _Nope, not into men._

The ref skated to us, looking at us both to make sure we were ready. We took our position, putting our sticks together to prepare to try to win the puck. The referee looked at both goalies, who each signalled that they were also ready. He blew into his whistle to signal us to get ready for the puck drop, then raised a hand, holding the puck above our sticks.

I took a sharp inhale and as soon as I saw the puck drop from the ref's hand, I lunged forward to shove the other guy out of the way, scooping the puck and passing it to Catra, who skated forward with it. I felt the guy shove me out of his way and mutter something. I raced forward, feeling the sound of the crowd fade away. All I heard was the sound of skate blades on ice, sticks hitting pucks, sticks hitting sticks and the occasional grunts and calls from other players.

My shift passed very quickly. I skated back to the bench, hopping over the boards for a quicker transition and sat down, grabbing a bottle and squirting some water into my mouth as I began to catch my breath. Catra skated over and switched with her replacement and sat down next to me. She grabbed a bottle and squirted some water into her mouth as well.

"Nice shift," she breathed. "I liked how you handled that prick at the faceoff." She shoved me lightly. I laughed.

"Yeah, he was a total weirdo." I cringed at the memory. "He winked at me before the game."

Catra scoffed. "I hate dudes like that. Rough him up a bit for me, yeah?"

I nodded and turned back to look at the game. The puck switched directions often, a sure sign that the two teams were evenly matched. I studied the way their players moved about. They were more elusive and deked more, avoiding physical altercations. I noticed that there was a move that they used a lot, a quick one-two deke between the legs. I noted that in my mind. _They won't be expecting a body check while they're trying to deke past us._

My eyes drifted to their bench directly across the ice from us. My eyes caught on a smaller girl with obnoxiously pink hair, and sitting next to her, a taller boy with dark skin. I rolled my eyes. Of course she has pink hair. _Total princes_ s, I joked to myself. They were laughing together, but kept their eyes on the ice. I snapped my eyes back on the ice to watch the play. One of their forwards slipped past our defenseman ( _Dang it, Kyle)_ and took a shot right at the net.

The goal siren blared. Our whole bench groaned while the other bench jumped up to their feet and cheered. Rogelio hung his head back and stood up from the butterfly position he had assumed and passed the puck to the ref. Kyle skated over to him to say a quick word, then hit him gently in the helmet before skating to the bench to switch with the other defenseman.

I looked at the scoreboard for the time. _14:38._ I sighed, giving myself approximately three more minutes before I had to get back on the ice. The puck dropped once more and shots were taken on both sides, all of them being stopped by the goalie. I shifted further and further down the bench, until I noticed it was my line's turn to go on the ice next. The whistle blew as the puck was stopped in Rogelio's trapper. I skated on the ice, followed by Catra and Lonnie. We exchanged a quick word with the line before us, and gave each other a quick fist bump. 

Their line changed too. I noticed the obnoxious moustached guy and the other two people I saw on the bench earlier come off the bench as well. Smiley lined up next to Moustache, on my left and Pink Hair somewhere behind them in a defensive position. I took my place at the center and glared at Moustache. He gave me a goofy grin and I growled at him. He mock growled at me so I shoved him with my stick and he shoved me back. I gritted my teeth and got back into position. The ref dropped the puck and I dropped my stick with a _THWACK_ , then sent the puck flying behind me to where Lonnie had skated.

She picked it up easily and moved to the right side of the rink facing the opposite net in an arched movement. I headed up the middle and positioned myself in front of the net, ready to tip something in or simply clear the front of the net. Lonnie passed back to Kyle who passed to our other defense who snapped the puck to Catra. I shoved a girl from in front of the net who was trying to lift my stick. Turns out it was Pinky. I glanced at her jersey. _15\. Amarysso_.

 _Amarysso_ _? Seriously?_ I groaned at the disappointing unironic nature of this girl. Pink hair and her last name _isn't_ Sparkles? I gave her a shove for good measure which made her grunt. I looked back at Catra who was pushing her way through the other team before lining up to take a shot. The puck lasered in the top left corner of the net. The goal horn blared and a bright red spot light illuminated the net as their goalie growled and pushed the puck back out.

Catra skated around the back of the net and threw her hands in the air, then threw some fake punches in front of her. I skated over to Catra and swung my arms around her neck, congratulating her on the goal. I separated one arm and stood at her side as the rest of our line mates on the ice came over to give her some friendly punches.

"Nice job," I said to her, pressing my helmet against hers.

"Thanks," she said with a huge grin on her face. We skated our way back to the centre and before we separated, I gave her a slap on the butt as is custom for most athletes. It was our own, weird athletic way of saying good job with no words.

Moustache wasn't exactly smiling when I faced him. In fact, he was scowling. _Guess his ego isn't inflated anymore._ I grinned at him which made him frown even more. The referee came over to drop the puck and the rest of my shift went by in a blur.

I found myself sitting on the bench next to Catra as the first period ended. We huddled around the bench and listened to our coach explain the game plan. He said we were working well but the other team was skating circles around us. I cleared my throat and the team turned to me.

My coach crossed his arms with a neutral expression. "Adora, do you have something to say?"

I nodded nervously. Despite being the captain of the team, talking in front of crowds made me a bit anxious. "Uh yeah. I noticed that um... they all do this specific move, or a variation of it to get around us." I looked at my teammates who seemed eager to learn the information I brought up.

"Well, as you all know, they're not that physical, and seem to use agility more than strength." I heard someone scoff. "I was paying attention to what they were doing and realized they do a two-touch deke, then pass it between our legs and pick it up on the other side," I gestured with my hands while I explained. "Um but quickly, so if we can separate the body from the puck before they have the chance or lift their stick preemptively, we should be okay," I finished off strongly.

The coach nodded at my words and slapped my helmet. "Good job, Adora. This is why you're the captain," he said with an affirming tone. He turned to the team. "Well, you heard her, get to the puck early and separate them." The team nodded and muttered words of agreement.

I felt a hand around my waist. "Good job, captain Adora. You definitely deserve to be our leader." I turned to the voice which I couldn't recognize due to the pulsing blood in my ears. Catra was looking at me with a big smile on her face. I felt my own face heat up.

"Thanks, but I don't really deserve it," I muttered. My hand slid up to push Catra's off of me and I looked down at the ground. Catra opened her mouth to say something, but the referee's whistle interrupted her. She shut her mouth with a frown and we set off to the faceoff circle again.

I glanced down at my jersey. At the patch of the letter C on the left side of my chest. I had been told that I deserved this for so long. And maybe I did. I worked my butt off to be a good player and to make my team better. But the real reason I do this is because I know that if I'm not good enough... if _we're_ not good enough, Shadow Weaver would have taken us out of hockey a long time ago.

Shadow Weaver always expected a lot from me. As horrible as she is, she always wanted me to do well. And probably not for my sake. She is a selfish woman, and would do anything if it made her look good. She would tell me that she made me who I am. She made me the hard worker that I am today. That without her, I wouldn't even have moved up past house league.

But she didn't do anything for me. Catra and I begged her to let us play. She told us we were being foolish, and she punished us for it. We insisted, we told her we would prove that we deserved it. That we would make her proud. Why two little girls had to beg their care taker to let them pursue something, I never knew. You could argue it was because it was a group home and not everyone got to do hobbies, but Lana and some of the other girls did dance.

Shadow Weaver thought that we would never amount to anything if we did hockey. That we wouldn't do anything that could contribute to her image. The other girls would dance in big competitions and our little group home would make headlines. **_Orphan Girls Bring Dance Troupe to Victory!_** Total crap. "Dance is a girl activity," Shadow Weaver would tell us. "The two of you wouldn't make anything out of it. Adora, I need you to keep Catra out of trouble and make me proud," she'd say.

I used to think that Shadow Weaver wanted what was best for us. That she was hard on us because she wanted us to be better. But Shadow Weaver doesn't love anyone but herself. We made her sign us up, but she made us swear that we would not disappoint her. And I was afraid of what would happen if we did, so Catra and I worked hard every single day to get better. Once we became old enough to have team captains, I always strived to be captain. Or assistant captain, because if I didn't... well having to quit hockey would be the least of our issues.

The only thing that Shadow Weaver gave me was issues. Yes, I work hard and I put a lot of time and effort into this sport. But I don't deserve to be captain. I don't deserve to be anything. That was something that I would never forget her telling me.

The referee blew the whistle once more and once again the puck went to my team. I skated up the middle third of the ice and received a pass from Catra. Pinky tried to stick check me so I passed the puck to Lonnie who skated up the right side. She made a wide turn behind the net and passed it to Catra who was in the slot. I positioned myself in front of the net to shove Pinky out of the way again and try to replicate the play that got us our first goal of the game.

Catra wound up a slapshot once she had an opening. At the same time, I felt Pinky hit me in the shins with her stick. I looked over angrily at her and in the split second that I took my eyes off of the puck, too many things happened.

I whacked Pinky back, shoving her with my stick in the arm. Catra took the shot that sounded loud across the arena. At this moment, Pinky took the opportunity to catch me off guard and push me again. My skate blade caught on the ice and I felt myself fall. I turned my head to look at the shot, hoping to see it soar through the air and laser into the net. Instead, what I saw in seemingly slow motion was the puck fly to my face. I tried to duck out of the way but I wasn't fast enough. The rubber biscuit made direct contact with my face, hitting me in the mouth and nose right under my visor. My helmet fell off my head from the impact. I threw my hands to my face and fell on my back, rolling over to face the ground. Everyone exclaimed and then silence.

I'm known for being a physical player. I know how to take a hit and how to deliver a hit, so when I get hit, it's not a big deal because it doesn't really faze me. But this was the first time I ever fell on the ice in pain (other than the time I broke my finger in pee wee). The arena was dead silent and the silence was deafening. The referee's whistle broke the silence, echoing through the arena. I kicked at the ice in pain. I had been through worse I think, but there was something about this that frustrated me. The frustration made the pain more intense.

Catra skated over to me and crouched. "Oh my... I... Holy fuck I'm so sorry!" She stared at me bewildered as I felt blood drip out of my mouth onto the ice. "Shit you're bleeding?" She straightened her back and waved to a trainer to come over.

I don't know why I didn't stand up. I felt as though this was long coming. After all these years of hitting other people, it had to come back to me eventually, right? I moved both my hands down to the floor to hold myself up and blood continued to drip from my mouth. I spat out more blood on the ice, feeling something hard come out with it. My eyes readjusted as I looked at the bloody tooth that lay on the ice. My vision blurred, and Catra's words of worry faded into static. I looked up at the trainer who had arrived at the scene, but I couldn't make out anything but the generic shape of a human. My nose felt swollen and my mouth felt tingly and painful. Everything went dark.

_"You will not be joining that foolish game." Shadow Weaver spoke from her seat in her office, not even taking her eyes off of the computer screen in front of her._

_"But Ms. Weaver," I pleaded, joined by Catra. We stood in front of her large mahogany desk, surrounded by dark bookcases filled with books we were not allowed to read._

_Shadow Weaver snapped her vision to us, her black hair draping down her shoulders. Her eyes were filled with a fire that we were all too familiar with. "I will not have you continue to fill Adora's head with these... foolish fantasies," she spat, making direct eye contact with Catra._

_Catra flinched, assuming a defensive stance. I stood in front of her, knowing how this would all play out. I heard Catra sniffle behind me._

_"It's not fair," I said. "We just want to play!" I whined with determination in my eyes. Shadow Weaver simply huffed at me. "You let Lana do dance," I continued. "Why can't we play... hockey," I said, slightly unsure of what I was saying._

_Shadow Weaver spun on her chair to allow her access to stand. She stood up with a new fury. "That sport is for hooligans and good for nothings," she yelled. "I will not have you ruin your life playing that useless drivel," she snarled. She grabbed Catra's arm, dragging her next to herself and shook Catra's forearm. "This one would be a perfect candidate to join that embarrassment of a sport!"_

_Catra winced at the forceful shaking. I furrowed my eyebrows. "Stop! You're going to hurt her!" I put my hands on Shadow Weaver's, attempting to make her release her grip on Catra. She reached across with her other hand to slap me across the face. I stumbled backwards, holding my cheek. My face was red-hot and the raw mark I was holding stung._

_Shadow Weaver took a sharp inhale and closed her eyes, releasing Catra who ran to me and hid behind me. Shadow Weaver pinched the bridge of her nose. Catra grabbed my arms, using me as shelter. I felt her shake. I dropped my hand from my red cheek to her hand, deciding to stay quiet but giving her a look that said it all._

_"Fine._ _I will allow you to play that incompetent_ sport, _but give me one reason to think that it is affecting you poorly and I will retract you." She glared at me. "You are meant for big things, Adora. Convince me of that fact or you will both suffer the consequences."_

As I blinked awake, the harsh light of the room forced my eyes to narrow into a squint. I looked around the room fervently trying to figure out where I was or why I was here. As I grew accustomed to the light, I looked at my surroundings. I was laying on a bench in a room full of cubbies. There was a logo on the floor. Pieces connected in my head and I sat up quickly with a gasp. I felt my vision darken again and I held my head with frustration.

I tried to speak but my voice was muffled. My tongue hit bloody gauze, which I spit out with a look of disgust on my face. "The game," I choked out. "Are we winning?" I looked at the trainer sitting next to me. My face pulsed with pain, but I ignored it.

The trainer shook his head. "No, you're still tied." He looked at me with furrowed eyebrows. "Are you okay? You were out for a few minutes there," he questioned.

I nodded. "I'm fine," I replied slowly. "But I need to get back out there!" I ran my tongue to the front of my mouth, where I distinguished a hole. My eyes widened. "My tooth!" I felt around the bench, looking for something. "It's gone!" I exclaimed with a slight lisp.

The trainer gave me a weird look. "Yeah, it got knocked out when you took that shot to the face," he explained. "Remember?"

I put a hand up to my swollen lip. I felt stitches vertically above my top lip. _Right, Catra shot me in the face with a puck._ I nodded with a chuckle. _She's definitely never going to hear the end of this._ I looked at the trainer. "So any chance I can get back out there?"

He nodded slowly, but he looked kind of worried. "Yes, but I need to make sure you don't have a concussion or another TBI first," he explained. He got out a small flashlight and held it up to my face. "Okay, I am going to shine this light in front of you, you're going to follow it without moving your head, alright?"

I nodded. He turned on the light and angled it toward my eyes. I blinked once to adjust to the sudden brightness, then followed the light as he moved it from side to side, and up and down. There was a burning in my eyes so I blinked and looked away. "Are we done here?" I asked with frustration. I twiddled with the hem of my jersey, feeling the stitching with the tips of my fingers. My jaw clenched and unclenched as I heard the muffled noises of the arena.

"No, there are still other things I need to check." He reached into his bag and pulled out stick tape, then taped a straight line on the floor. "Can you walk this for me, one time looking down and the other looking straight ahead?"

I groaned and stood up, walking across the length of the tape and back. I opened my mouth to complain again, when my eye caught a roll of tape flying toward me. I stuck up my hand with the reflexes I learned to have and caught it in my hand, a slight panic edging in the almost unnoticeable trembling of my arm. If my lip didn't hurt as much as it did, I would have been biting it right then and there. I gave my trainer an exasperated look which he returned with an emotionless glare.

"Okay, I think you're fine," he said to which I smiled. " _But_ ," he continued. I groaned. "You'll have to wait until the period ends so you can recollect yourself." I let our an exasperated huff and looked at the clock on the wall. It said there were roughly ten minutes left in the period.

I reluctantly sat down on the bench, frowning at the floor as the seconds passed by. I hadn't really got to look at my face. I let out a humoured exhale. _I can only imagine how preposterous I must look._ I ran my tongue along the spot where my front left tooth used to be with a grin. Something about the whole situation seemed absurd to me, and I couldn't help but find it humorous.

The fact that after all the years of living with Shadow Weaver, she always tried to make me look presentable, and now I'm all banged up, missing a tooth. I was her shining star, after all. Or she wanted me to be, at least. I wasn't sure why. I wasn't the smartest, or anything of use really. But she seemed dead set that I was to be her... her protégé. She wanted me to represent her in a way that would make her little _business_ seem worthwhile.

Because that's all we were to her. Her business. Her pawns. We were like lambs raised for slaughter in her eyes, except slaughter was releasing us into bad families or in most of our cases, the real world- afraid and unprepared. She would get ahead while she used us as stools, crushing us down below her feet.

I should have been mad. I should have turned around and punched a wall like I always did when I thought about Shadow Weaver. But instead, I laughed. I laughed and I laughed until it hurt. My nose felt numb with pain and my stitches felt like they'd fall out. But I kept laughing because what had just happened to me? Shadow Weaver would have _killed_ me for it. She would have killed Catra for doing it to me. Now? Now she can't do anything. She signed the emancipation papers. We obliged. She was _happ_ y to send us out. To "learn our lesson."

I learned my lesson. And here I was, on the verge of tears (from laughing, probably) in the locker room of my pre-collegiate hockey team with stitches in my face and a tooth in a bag. Laughing at her. At Shadow Weaver. Laughing at how much she _hated_ us for no reason. Laughing at the thought of a grown woman having such animosity towards the kids she's supposed to take care of. To protect. When really she was our biggest threat.

My trainer was sat across from me on the other side of the room. He frowned at me with worry, but didn't say anything as I kept laughing, edging closer and closer to crying. I don't know what came over me, but I must have looked like a maniac hunched over laughing looking the way I did. I played with the roll of tape in my hands as I stopped laughing and was left with tears in my eyes. Whether they were tears from laughing, from pain, or from anger I didn't know.

Maybe I was just sad. Sad because it's not fair that a little girl who lost her parents would have no say in what happens to her. A little girl would have to move into a home where nobody loved her. It wasn't fair that I was dealt such an unjust hand, that I had to deal with everything I had to deal with. It's not fair that that little girl would grow up being so messed up that she would laugh because she probably permanently damaged her face. Just because the pure action of no longer looking perfect spited her previous caretaker.

Screw that. I was defying all of the odds. Little orphan girl with a sad life surpasses abusive household and gets into school with an athletic scholarship? That should have given Shadow Weaver all of the publicity she needed. I guess she got what she wanted after all. I may not be good at school unlike Catra, but I am good at hockey, and that was enough for me. _I'm done letting people determine my worth._

And with that thought, the buzzer sounded. I tossed the roll of tape back to the trainer and reached above me to grab my helmet, setting it on my lap. After a few moments, I heard muffled chattering outside and my entire team walked in. The talking faded as everyone looked in stunned silence at me. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, feeling strangely sheepish.

"Uh... hi," I muttered awkwardly at the team. _Captain, my captain,_ I growled sarcastically in my head. The majority of them looked away and continued to sit in their spots under their respective cubby. I looked down at my visor, the tinted glass allowing me to look at my reflection easier.

My under eyes were darkened from lack of sleep and my nose was a little swollen. I had a cut from the left of my top lip that was stitched up for a couple of inches. The real cherry on top being I had a whole tooth missing. I sighed in dismay, but forced a smile on my lips. Well, as much of a smile as I could make.

"Okay, well guys," I started awkwardly. "Uh, sorry for being absent there... Getting a puck to the face and not having a good night's rest doesn't really mix well," I joked. I got a few chuckles in return. I felt a hand fall on mine and I glanced over to Catra who was looking at me with an apologetic expression. I flashed a smile at her before turning my attention back to the general public of my team.

"I'm happy to say that I will be-" I shot a look over at the trainer who gave me a quick thumbs up. "-Coming back on the ice with you all for the final period," I announced. There were a few cheers and a few relieved sighs. The loudest sigh came from right next to me. The quiet sounds from the rink filled the room. The slight humm from the zamboni refreshing the ice made my head feel like static.

A single clap sounded from the front of the room. My coach called for everyone's attention, so we gave it to him. "Well it's good to hear that you will be joining us, Adora." He grinned at me. "Make sure you get your visor changed to a fish bowl," he said half-joking half not. I handed my helmet down to Catra who handed it down to Lonnie and eventually made it's way to the trainer who unscrewed the visor.

"We're tied up and we're tired. I can see it." Everyone looked around the room with slight guilt. "I need you guys to play as hard as you can! Separate bodies from pucks and shoot on net." Our coach stuck out his hand in the centre of the room expectantly. We all stood up and put our hands in the middle. "One, two, three, play strong!"

"Play strong!"

We all separated, punching each other in the arms as we always did to hype each other up before a final period of play. I shuffled over to our trainer who handed me my helmet with the newly attached half visor half cage to prevent further injury. I frowned a little at it. I hated wearing anything but the visor, however, I knew it was necessary.

I followed my team back out to the ice, my appearance drawing some cheers from the crowd. I grinned and waved shyly at the people sitting in the stands.

"You got this, Adora." I looked over at Catra who rubbed my arm gently. I smiled at her and she returned the smile. As she turned around to get to her spot in the faceoff circle, I saw a flash of guilt in her eyes.

I let out a sharp exhale and turned to face Moustache as the referee skated over, the sound of skates cutting into fresh ice filling my head. He made sure everyone was ready and dropped the puck. Moustache and I battled for the puck, but he got a hold of it and threw it behind him. I grunted and shot forward, trying to stop them from advancing. Smiley crept forward with the puck, but Kyle was on him in an instant. Despite being scatter-brained outside of the arena, on the ice he was mostly level headed and quick to react. He seemed almost like a completely different person.

He kept Smiley in front of him as he backed up in pace, but also got a little closer to the other boy. He stuck out his stick in front of him, trying to force the puck carrier into an error. Smiley (who's last name I found out was Bersier) passed it to a particularly relaxed-looking tall, lean girl with silky light blonde hair and tan skin who was playing defence. She passed it across to Pinky, who was immediately covered by Catra and forced to either dump the puck down the boards or make a risky pass to someone.

I eyed her, daring her to try to pass it to Moustache. She must have received the message because the puck was quickly flying down the ice to Moustache who took off in a heap. I followed him as he skated around our net, but I decided to meet him at the other side. He made his way around, looking down at the puck for a moment. I used that to my advantage as I dropped my shoulder and rammed into him full force, sending him flying back into the boards with an _oof_ and a thud. The audience roared. I let out a forceful breath as the impact rattled me a bit, but I shook it off and received the puck, shooting it down the boards and right onto Kyle's tape. He passed it forward to Lonnie who took a quick snap at the opposing net, barely getting gloved by the goalie.

I gritted my teeth and looked up at the clock, heaving. _17:24_. I made my way back to the bench, switching lines and sat down, squeezing water through the cage part of the visor and into my mouth. The water was cold and refreshing, running through the new hole in my row of teeth in a way I hadn't felt since I lost my baby teeth. Catra sat down next to me with a loud _harrump_ h and Lonnie followed suit, taking a big drink of water.

"So, how's your face?" Catra shifted closer to me, taking off her gloves and giving her hands a quick lick. It was supposed to be good luck according to her, but I think she just does it when she's nervous about the outcome of a game.

Lonnie shoved Catra's arm. "Catra, no offense but that's gross," she said with her tongue out.

Catra scoffed. "It's good luck. Helps keep my hands silky," she explained with a final lick before she put her gloves back on. I chuckled softly and nudged Catra.

"My face is fine," I replied. "No thanks to you," I added with a friendly snort. _Ow, my nose._ I looked back out at the ice, watching the game. "I still can't get over their uniforms."

Catra chuckled. "Yeah, they're so... extravagant," she determined after searching for the right word. "I hate their home jerseys. It's as if a rainbow threw up on them." She rolled her eyes. "And the actual college uniforms are even worse!"

I wrinkled my nose in fake disgust. _Ow, my nose._ "I know, I would hate to wear that." I looked down at our red jerseys, suddenly feeling grateful. "Our college jerseys are going to be so cool," I smiled enthusiastically. "They're mainly black," I recalled.

I caught Catra nodding out of the corner of my eye. "Yup!" She let out a nervous laugh. "You know, I'm actually so scared of going to college," she admitted.

I turned to look at her. "Really?" I couldn't imagine why Catra would be nervous. She definitely belonged in college. She could probably get an academic scholarship if she didn't have an athletic one. She's certainly smart enough. I pulled at the bottom of my jersey.

Catra nodded. "Yeah," she confirmed quietly. "I mean, I'm super psyched to play hockey, but I'm worried about classes." She frowned. "I can't just not do homework and only do well on tests anymore. I actually have to try now," she gulped.

I looked down at my feet, rubbing my skate blade on the floor. "You'll be fine, you're one of the smartest people I know," I reassured. _I'm the one who should be worrying, I barely have the grades to keep the athletic scholarship right now._ I frowned.

It's not like I wasn't trying, because I was. I was just never good at school, I'd always be too distracted or tired. Either I can't pay attention or I'm asleep. What's frustrating is that I learn the concepts and I understand them, but I'm not good at testing because I can't focus enough to finish all the questions, or I just can't memorize. College is going to be hard.

Catra nudged her knee against mine. "Thanks, Adora." She adjusted my ponytail. "You'll be okay too, I know it."

I huffed and turned my gaze back on the ice. The center who plays two lines after me (her name is Kayla) was making her way up the ice when she was tripped by the other team's defenseman. One of the referees stuck up her arm and blew the whistle. The guilty defenseman made his way over to the penalty box and sat down with a frown, banging his stick on the glass.

The coach signalled for my line to go in since we were the best powerplay contenders. The other teams first line also went up to match us. I gritted my teeth at having to face Moustache again. We lined up at the circle near their net, two of their defensemen lining up at the side closest to their net, accompanied by their right winger.

We outnumbered them by one player but we can't get too cocky since this might be our only chance to take the lead. I lined up, gripping my stick with more force than usual. I glared at Moustache and looked briefly at Lonnie on my right who had an empty spot next to her.

The referee skated over and dropped the puck, I used my body to prevent Moustache from getting the puck and Lonnie scooped it up. She passed to Catra who passed back to Kyle who passed to Nathaniel our other powerplay defenseman.

He stick handled the puck from side to side, watching. He passed back to Kyle who passed to Lonnie who passed to me. I skated around trying to get closer to the net, but was met with a defensive wall. I passed back to Lonnie before I lost the puck.

My eyes darted around the ice, trying to figure out the best plan. I noticed they were leaving Catra's side less protected since the puck was on the other side. I grinned. _Rookie mistake._ I glanced at Catra who happened to look at me. I tilted my head slightly toward the net and she started skating to it. I banged my stick on the floor to get Lonnie to pass it back to me.

I recieved the pass and shot it up to Catra who went around the net and pretended to shoot the puck at the goalie but instead passed it to me last second. I wound up a one timer and as the puck approached my sweet spot, I released the shot. It soared through the air, skimming the top of the goalie's glove.

_Ding!_

It hit the top crossbar. Time seemed to slow down as I watched the puck fall, forcing my body to crash the net, searching for a possible rebound.

Instead, I was met with a goal siren and the referee sticking out his hand straight out, signaling a good goal. Time sped up back to normal and I watched as the light fell on the opposing goalie who seemed very distraught.

I jumped up, throwing my hands in the air. The arena was filled with screaming and chanting from the stands. I turned around to receive a multitude of hugs, punches, and butt slaps from my teammates. The player in the penalty box threw open the door and reluctantly skated back to the bench. My line did the same, and I got back to the bench to a plethora of compliments and friendly slaps.

The next 13 minutes passed quickly as I had three more shifts and a lot of close calls. I watched the clock tick down the final ten seconds, excitement filling in my belly as I passed the puck from side to side, letting the time waste. The final buzzer sounded and my entire team jumped on their feet and flew over the bench onto the ice.

We converged in a massive group hug, a tangle of arms and sticks. Rogelio made his way over from the net and leaped into our pile. We all slapped him on the helmet and shouted compliments at him to which he responded with happy growls. Our coaches ran out on the ice to congratulate us as two people from the varsity college team came out with a box of shiny golden medals and caps. The Horde mascot (some guy wearing a devil-looking suit with a jersey embroidered "Imp" on the back) ran out on the ice holding a trophy. I grinned and looked around at my team, then at our head coach who gestured at the trophy with a smile.

I nodded and skated out to the mascot, receiving the trophy over my head and heaving it up and down, showing it off to the audience, then to my team who cheered. It was a medium-sized silver trophy shaped like a large vase. Engraved on it was "Pre-Collegiate Cup" and the names of the previous winners. I noticed that most of them were either the Bright Moon prospects or the Horde prospects.

Catra and Lonnie (my assistant captains) went over to take the medals and hand them out. I placed the trophy on the ice as we all posed around it, caps on and smiled. Rogelio was laid out across the floor and the rest of us stood above him, Catra, Lonnie and I stood over Rogelio.

After a long process of taking team photos, and our own photos, we had a mini party in the dressing room. Catra and I finally got home, our skin and hair sticky from getting drenched in alcohol-free champagne and exhausted from the game.

I sat on my bed, reaching into my pocket to pull out the little box with the ring. I opened the box and put on the jewelry, the note inside the box falling out. I reached down to grab it, and opened it to read with groggy eyes.

_Adora Grayskull. #1. The Horde Force admires your tenacity and we look forward to seeing you in our official black jerseys. You will make a fine Force captain._

_Never forget your loyalty. It's what makes your team strong._

_-Coach Brenner._

I sighed happily, setting my cap on my bedside table along with the note. My eyes watched the clock turn from 2:54 to 2:55. I laid down in my bed, still fully clothed, my eyes drifting into a close. _Force captain Adora Grayskull?_ I chuckled softly as my body became heavier. _Sounds nice._


	9. Stop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora has a crisis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Light pink sky up on the roof  
> Sun sinks down, no curfew  
> Twenty questions, we tell the truth  
> You've been stressed out lately? Yeah, me too  
> Something gave you the nerve  
> To touch my hand"
> 
> It's Nice to Have a Friend - Taylor Swift

The time after our championship game passed quickly. I managed to successfully graduate from high school. My grades weren't amazing, but I had somehow been able to keep them okay enough to keep my athletic scholarship. As soon as school ended, we were mailed our dorm assignments and prompted to move in as soon as possible.

Of course, Catra and I made a special request to be roommates due to our circumstances and the several problems we have. She's the only one I feel safe with, after all. If I had to live with anyone else, I might die. At the end of July, we were already moving in. Athletes need to be at school before regular students so we can start practicing and bonding as a team.

"Sweet! Bunk beds!"

I looked at Catra who got uncharacteristically excited over the beds we were given. We had the option to pick a dorm with two seperate beds on opposite sides of the room or bunk beds. We chose bunk beds because then we'd have more space to put stuff.

I dropped my bag of belongings on the floor in front of the door, shutting it behind us. "Top or bottom?"

Catra snorted. "Ask me that again."

I scoffed, reaching over to slap her in the arm. "I meant the bunk bed, obviously." Catra rolled her eyes.

"Well, obviously I want top bunk. You'd probabaly just roll off of it and break your arm and then your season ends."

I picked up my bag and brought it over to the bottom bunk, reaching in to find bedsheets. "Alright, have fun making your bed all the way up there," I said while putting on my bedsheets. Catra made a fake whining noise, but the shuffling above me indicated she did so successfully.

I sat on my now made bed, looking around our empty dorm room. There was still stuff to set up; namely the coffee pot and a single poster we had. Okay, maybe that was all we needed to set up. It's not like we had _much._ But we could get more, we were already reading about jobs on campus.

"Hey did you connect to the wifi yet?" Catra leaned over the side of her bed, her hair covering my view.

I shook my head. "No, not yet. I actually forgot we get internet here." My voice sounded casual, but I was actually so excited. Internet! At home! It was a dream come true for past Catra and Adora.

"Alright," Catra mumbled while heaving herself back up to her bed. I pulled out my phone, opening the settings and searching for the wifi we could connect to.

"It's AthDorm3 right?" I prodded the mattress above me with my finger. Catra hummed in agreement. I looked back down and clicked on it, putting in the password we were given on a sheet of paper. _Connected._ I grinned at my phone, unsure of what to do first. I got a notification from my email. I clicked on it.

_**To:** _ **a.grayskull@bmail.com + 15 others**   
_**From** _ _**: coachblythe.athdep@hordeu.com** _

_**Subject:** _ **Team Meeting and Campus Tour Today**

_We have a team meeting today at 4pm at the track. Do not be late, we will be doing some introductions for our freshmen._

_Coach Blythe._

I looked at my phone with excitement. I finally got to meet the team. "Hey, Catra, did you read the email? About the meeting?"

I heard shuffling above me, then saw Catra's tail, then her feet and then her whole body as she swung from the bed and jumped onto mine. "Yeah, today at 4?"

"Mhm," I hummed as I checked the time. "It's only noon, so we still have some time before we need to get there. What do you want to do?"

Catra shrugged. "I don't know, I kinda just wanna chill here. Don't want to go getting lost before we get our tour, right?"

I nodded. She had a point, we could go explore any time, but if we go went now, we'd just end up getting lost. But as the minutes passed, I couldn't help but feel more and more excited to be in college.

And nervous, I was definitely nervous about being in college. _I'm not a stupid person, I just don't do well in school, but if I don't do well here, then I could lose my athletic scholarship._ I felt myself start to spiral. _If I lose my athletic scholarship, I can't attend school here anymore! It's too much money._ My hands started to shake. _And I won't be able to play hockey or be with Catra. Oh my God I won't be able to be with Catra! How could I live without her? We've always been together._ My mouth went dry. Oh no. _If I lose my scholarship because of my stupid ADHD-_

"Hey are you okay?"

I turned to Catra, who grabbed me by the shoulder softly. I tried to speak, but I couldn't get any words to come out. My eyes started tearing up. "Adora, you're okay." Catra shuffled over right next to me and pulled me into a tight hug. "Tell me about something you're excited for." She was trying to distract me, one of the tactics we figured out a long time ago to help me through these.

I sniffed. Catra's hair smelled good. "I-I'm excited... for..." I tried to think of something but my mind drew up blank. _You're not good enough for this scholarship._ Stop. _You're not going to succeed._ Stop. _You're going to fail or drop out._ Stop! _You're not smart enough for sports medicine._ Stop! _You're going to fail and Catra's going to hate you._ Stop. _Catra's going to leave you and you'll be all alone._ "Stop it!" The words burst out of my mouth in a loud, shaky mess. I pushed Catra off of me and curled up, covering my ears with my hands. 

Catra stayed where she was. I felt her gaze on me. It wasn't malicious, just worried. I took in a breath. "Remember when we won the championship? Before we graduated?" Catra spoke slowly, calculating her words. "You were so happy at the after party you danced for like, an hour straight," she said with a chuckle. "I told you that you looked ridiculous, but I honestly thought it was very adorable." _She's lying._ "Everyone cheered you on," _they all hate you._ "Because you were their captain." _You didn't deserve it._ "You deserved that." _They pitied you. They saw that you were just an anxious mess and they gave you the role out of pity._ "You led us to victory, Adora." _It wasn't your doing. They always win._

"I'm proud of you."

I raised my head from my knees. "You're proud of me?" I choked out. I felt my throat clench as a sob escaped, hot tears falling down my face. Catra nodded.

"Yes, I'm proud of you." She leaned back over slowly and brushed hair out of my face. "You're okay Adora. Whatever is making you anxious, just know I'm by your side forever." I took a couple deep breaths, wiping tears off of my face. "There you go, just breathe now. It's okay." 

I laughed a little. "You keep having to do this," I muttered as I rubbed my eyes with my sleeve. "But you're really good at it." I felt the shakiness subside and the exhaustion kick in.

"I know. Years of practice." Catra nudged me gently and placed a soft kiss on my cheek. I laughed a little more. 

I stayed curled up in the fetal position. "I'm so tired, Catra. I'm tired and a mess, and I keep screwing things up."

"That's not true. You don't mess things up, you're not thinking rationally right now and that's okay. But I can tell you for certain that you're not a screw up." Catra rubbed my back. "Do you want to lay down?"

I nodded. I really was tired. I laid back on my bed against the wall and Catra laid next to me. I could hear her breathing. It was oddly calming. She wrapped her tail around my leg, knowing it would comfort me. I grinned, listening to Catra's breath. I swear, it could be the soundtrack to my life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey it's been a while! Short chapter after that giant last chapter. Hope you like it!
> 
> I will also be trying to update this fic every other week!


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